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[personal profile] marguerite_krux
Things fall apart. In case you guys were wondering where I was [*squishes woodchoc_magnum*], I've been trying to put the pieces of my life back together. It's been emotionally exhausting but creepily okay in the end. The worst happened and it didn't. I'm ten kinds of confused right now.

So, first off: I must confess, I've been a terrible daughter and while I hate admitting this to my flist, because I love you guys and want you to think well of me, I've always tried to maintain complete and total honesty with you. Unlike RL, where I lie frequently, sometimes just for the hell of it, I don't do that online because it would cheapen our interactions and I desperately need this connection to much to do that. Situational ethics, would you say?

Important developments since we last met:

I've officially dropped out of uni. I was technically suspended for the last trimester but I chose to conceal that fact and pretend that everything was proceeding as usual. The plan, such as it was, involved faking it for the rest of the year and then slitting my wrists or something suitably dramatic and fatal. [Well, nothing beats James' driving into oncoming traffic, but females tend to be less flashy- as evidenced by Nishy's choice of sleeping pills]

Unfortunately, or fortunately, depending on your POV, the truth will out and it resulted in a predictably awful and hostile showdown with the parents. I suppose I was overconfident when assessing my ability to keep matters hidden from them.

So, yes, they were not impressed. To the point where they confiscated my house keys [Muke made a point of mentioning that he was also changing the security code, which is overkill, don't you think? If I can't enter the house on my own, I can't access the keypad anyhow] and told me that since they can't trust me with something of value to them, I'm not allowed to be in the house on my own. I leave at 7 am and can return around 6pm. *shrugs* Not much of a hardship.

What really pissed me off was that Muke took my phone. Now that was just- gah. Not cool. I know that they pay my phone bills, but honestly, I use my phone to run my life, it has constant memos going off to remind me to do every little thing, and I've saved tons of notes: quotes from tv, books I want to read, random's just bloody inconvenient and it feels like I'm missing a limb or something. *pines away*

I've left my laptop at Ma's so that they can't take that as well. I don't even know what to do with my evenings now. *sighs mournfully* Yeah, my parents hate my guts- mother can barely bring herself to talk to me, and Muke, well, I've been avoiding him for the last week or so- and I'm having laptop anxiety. Plus internet withdrawal issues. It's been hard coping without my internet fix. *clings to you all*

Anyway, I'm rather- panicky right now. I have no clue what's going to happen with my life, I don't know where I'm going or what I'm going to do. I don't want to do anything, that's why I've ruined my life, because of this damn apathy that rules me. I'm not good at anything, but more to the point, either I don't care enough to try to be good [as per my studies] or I freak out so much at the strange and unfamiliar that I cripple myself [with real jobs].

I wish I could live online. >_<


New ship: Sylar/Claire. *headdesk* How is it that my ships become more and more- er, dubious as time passes on? And the chicks remain relatively pure and moralistic and straight-forward [okay, so Hermione scarred a girl for life, that's terrible but I blame it on JKR's shoddy characterization], while the guys are...hmm. From Snape's 'technically a good guy but quite cruel and nasty' to Jareth's 'I steal children and make you go on perilous quests to retrieve them' to Sylar's, um...'I kill people. For fun'. Yeahhh...

Plus, with the first two ships, if you were so inclined, the characters could get together without too much dilemma [what's the stigma of a former teacher/student relationship or centuries-long age difference compared with dating a serial killer?] But with Sylar and Claire, you can't really see these two hooking up without either serious character tweaking or dub-con. Which really rules this pairing, like, 90% of the fics I've come across involve dub-con. So wrong...but I can't help it, these two fascinate me too much. Taking the kink of characters who hate each other a little too far, methinks...*eyeroll*

LotS spoiler woe


FFS, why bring KIDS into it at this point? I hate when TPTB use kids to cause my darlings more angst- X-files and Xena leap to mind first of all. It’s just crap, there is so much fodder for the plot, I don’t get why it’s necessary to wring Cara's non-existent ‘maternal instincts’ for greater drama. UGH.

I don't mean to harsh anyone's squee, it's just I don't like kids think there are lots of other plot points that could be developed and relationships that should be explored without resorting to this. I know a lot of fans will be happy and I'm glad for you, just...ack. To paraphrase Rachel from Glee, 'Maybe one of these days you'll be able to create high ratings moments and character developments without ruining my enjoyment of the show'.

PS. How old is Kahlan? I’ve been wondering. All this talk lately of how I enjoy don’t mind a good age difference…but it only works with younger female/older male couples. I’m not a fan of older women with younger men. Not that I have anything against it [I like Demi and Ashton] but I don’t ship it.

So, Richard’s about 20-23...‘What have you been doing the last 20 years?’ Kahlan asks despairingly of Zedd. And Darken Rahl is all, ‘For 23 years, I’ve slept peacefully…’ before his blissful dreams were rent by the resurfacing of the Seeker. Do we know how old Kahlan is?

Alice in Wonderland!

The reviews have been lukewarm at best, but I was psyched up for it.

The main reason I was so excited about this movie is because Alice goes back to Wonderland. I’m a little depressed by all the fantasy movies which end on such a final note where the kid has grown up, learnt some valuable lessons, becomes a better person and is too old for such flights of fancy anymore.

It always saddened me in the Chronicles of Narnia that the older children stopped believing in their adventures and acted like it was just make-believe. The idea that their ability to visit Narnia had an expiry date is just cruel.

Terabithia was a major disappointment all round- it wasn’t real at all, it literally was just their imagination. BORING. And then there was the tearjerker of an ending. *sniffles* Just such a buzzkill.

And of course, Sarah escapes the Labyrinth and I don’t know whether she’d ever want to return or if it's even possible, but even if she did, without a sequel, it doesn’t really matter. *comforts self with fanfic* 

Plus Peter Pan. *pouts* The whole point of the movie was that you need to grow up and exist in the real world rather than escape your responsibilities and real life in a magic world. Whatever. At least they didn't go with the alternate ending where Peter returns for Wendy only to find her all grown up and unavailable for further adventuring. [I did find it ridiculous seeing her give permission for him to take her daughter- yes, it's all good fun but it's dangerous and I don't see a responsible parent approving of such a venture]

With these movies, and many others, it’s about leaving the fantasy behind as they become adults and that doesn’t sit right with me. The moral of the story seems to be that adventures and fantasy are all good and well but part of being grown up is putting away such ‘childish’ things because adulthood stifles imagination or something. Bleurgh.

Which is why Alice is AWESOME. She grows up- she’s 19!- and she gets to return to this magical place and she has a destiny wherein she must fight against the oppression of its citizens and defeat the dragon and restore peace and prosperity to the land...usually that’s the role of the male protagonist, but nuh-uh, Alice gets to be kickass!

I love the contrast between Alice in her gorgeous dress and then Alice in chainmail.

The Cheshire Cat! *cuddles it* The BEST thing about the whole movie, without a doubt.

That was the one thing all of us kids were raving about afterward, how cute it was and how much we want one!

[Too bad Alan Rickman didn't voice the Cat, lol- okay, Stephen Fry did a great job, so yes, it's simply my bias speaking, I'm just sayin', for me, that would've been doubly awesome]

I love its movement, the way it twines sinuously through the air, how whimsical and adorable it appears...*sighs fondly*

Plus, the odd fixation it had with the Hatter's hat! Lol. 'Farewell, sweet hat...'

This is about as good as Alice gets. I kept expecting it to get better and it never did. There were so many things I found annoying:

# Alice insisting it was all a dream. At the beginning, yes, it's understandable, but halfway through, you just want her to get over it and deal already, damn it.

# Johnny Depp. Yes, I KNOW. How horrifying that I must criticize him, but that's the awful truth. I couldn't understand half of what his Hatter said. Yes, the Hatter was schizo and mentally unstable, I get that, but when he put on that bizarre accent, it was just impossible to hear what he was saying. I really wanted subtitles after the first few lines, it was really bad.

# Anne Hathaway. I was pleased she played the White Queen, but what a turn-off, with the endless airs and graces of her cringe-worthy, OTT performance. I thought the wafting around with hands pretentiously raised was a mere front when she was with her courtiers because of the way she looked around warily and then dropped the posing to run to the dog. Except later on, she never dropped it again, and it made me want to slap that languid composure out of her.

# Alice refusing to step up to the Chosen One role. *sighs* I know, it's perfectly understandable that she wouldn't want to fight a monster but she's the bloody heroine of the movie and I wish she'd been more assertive about it, instead of having to be herded into place at the appropriate moment.

# The not!epic battle with the Jabberwocky. The special effects were awful- it didn't even look like she was striking anywhere near the beast. And the whole thing about 'six impossible things before breakfast' fell flat for me. I know the intention behind it- she musters the belief that she can kill it and she does, but it lacked impact for me.

# The fetterwacking. No. Just- no.

# Alice did the thing that most annoys me about Harry Potter- insisting they're not the hero of the story but then making others bow to their will and forcing them to follow their ill-thought-out, near-suicidal plans. You gotta pick one or the other, accept the responsibility [something Harry fails at, big-time] or pipe down and let other people handle it. I didn't see what was so special about Harry just having to stand there and die and getting this ridiculous deus ex machina with coming back to life, and although Alice did more than he did- I'll give her props for slaying the monster, it was a big deal and more impressive than EXPELLIARMUS- it's not anything that required a damn Prophecy over the issue. Anyone else could've done the same feat.

For once, I would like to see a prophecy about a Chosen One where that character EARNS the right to be considered special and wonderful and unique, instead of being Joe Average and succeeding in a task because the story demands it, rather than because they earned that victory or were competent enough to realistically win the day.

I’m also a little disappointed about Alan Rickman. He was barely there. I know the Caterpillar wasn't supposed to be a major character, but still. I couldn't help hoping, which I guess was my first mistake.

Also, apparently they were going to composite his face in somehow, but decided not to in the end. *sighs* I mean, the voice is enough, I mean, holy crap, you guys should know by now that I would do ANYTHING that voice commanded me to, but I prefer it accompanied by his FACE, y’know? It’s a bit random seeing it come from some weird creature thing. *pouts*

I was amused when both my cousins leaned in to ask me if that was Snape as soon as he started talking! He's so well-known for his vocals, lol. And I got a kick out of him referring to Alice as 'stupid girl'.

Alice: I need your help. I don't know what to do.
Caterpillar: I can't help you if you don't know who you are, stupid girl.
Alice: I'm not stupid! My name is Alice. I live in London. My father was Charles Kingsley, he had a vision that stretched halfway across the world and nothing ever stopped him. I'm Alice Kingsley.
Caterpillar: Alice at last. You were just as dimwitted the first time you were here...

So Snape-ish! Bwahaha. :D Especially the way he kinda goaded her about not being the real Alice and later confirming she actually was- because he was kinda prodding her into action and where's the fun in revealing the truth when you can tug at people's strings?

I will say that the ending was pretty decent. The Caterpillar returning as a butterfly, hee, even though he didn't speak. And she greets him as Absalom, so this time she didn't dismiss it as a dream, I liked that.

When she decided to return to the 'real world', I was so dismayed- because what was waiting for her? Marriage to a disgusting slobbery dude ['Ranga!' one of my cousins jeered] with digestive issues? Or living off relatives as the poor unwanted relation for the rest of her days? No way, stay in Wonderland!

But then she forges her own destiny and goes off to discover herself and make her own path and it was a pretty great note to end on. Even if it's soooo unrealistic, wtf, as if a chick would be allowed to act as a business partner and go off to negotiate and whatnot, but oh well, I want to pretend I don't regret paying money for this, okay?


I watched a few of Mia Wasikowska’s eps from In Treatment this week. She’s a really talented actress [sooo much better in this than Alice, I gotta say]. The whole ep is structured around two characters sitting in a room...just talking. No special effects, not even that much music, no real action...and it’s still utterly compelling. She gripped my attention from the first moment she stalked into the room and flung herself down on the couch, and I couldn’t stop watching her. She’s just so expressive and really something amazing to watch in action.

Oh, and you come across fandom in the most random places! In one of her sessions, Sophie brought in her diary to shed light on herself as a kid. ‘Dear Hermione,’ she reads, explaining, ‘I pretended that I was writing to Hermione Granger...’ :D Just like me with Xena! Oh, yeah, I totally used to make-believe that Xena was my friend...

And her psychologist has no clue, lol. ‘Who’s that?’
Sophie gapes. ‘You know, from Harry Potter. Tell me you’ve read those... *gapes* Are you insane?!’
Paul shrugs. ‘Just haven’t gotten around to it yet.’
‘They’ve been out for ten years!’
‘I know, I know...’
‘I’ll bring you my set next week.’
‘That’s not necessary, my kids have them.’
‘They’ve read them?’
‘Uh huh, and they really love them.’
‘Maybe you’re not such a fucked-up parent’. *snickers*

Anyway, back to the session and its revelations:

‘This diary is a gift. It’s a real clue to who you are. There you are in 4th grade, already pulling away from your world. You’re establishing a relationship with somebody who cannot let you down, Hermione...’

That kinda resonates. I don’t have anything like Sophie’s issues, but I can relate to that. I’ve always been more comfortable with fictional characters than real people. They follow certain rules and you can count on them. It’s just so much safer than the scary unpredictability of other people, who always break my heart and leave me in the end. [Yes, I have abandonment issues, how did you know?]


Who’s giving the new Doctor Who a chance? I gotta say, I’m less than impressed. I fell for Nine, in all his angsty neurotic glory...

I know Ten was a ball and just so much fun, but what can I say, the broody, damaged types do it for me. :P *luffs Nine*

And now we have Eleven…who looks like a schoolboy, I mean, really? Barely looks like he's out of his teens, he so cannot carry off that suit without looking like a kid playing dress-up. Still, his side-kick’s gorgeous. I’m so tempted just for the eye-candy, but…I have this ridiculous tendency to get emotionally invested without my say-so and I’ve danced this number too often to risk my heart when I know it ain’t gonna have a happy ending. I hate the 'revolving door' cast for this series and I don't know if it's worth it to watch in case I get attached and then weep buckets when they get swapped out for a new pair.

Oh, I don’t knoooow. *vacillates*



Make my mind up for me?


30 Day meme: snurched from labrt2004
Day 07 → A photo that makes you happy

Ugh, I'm so bitter about not getting to go to the most recent con, but this pic with Christopher Heyerdahl was the highlight of last year.



Tagged by dragonladyk
1. Grab the nearest book.
2. Open the book to page 123.
3. Find the fifth sentence.
4. Post the text of the next 4 sentences on your LJ along with these instructions.
5. Don't you dare dig for that "cool" or "intellectual" book in your closet! I know you were thinking about it! Just pick up whatever is closest.
6. Tag five people

The Iron King

'That he caved to your demands suggests he may be spending too much time with mortals, learning their ways and capricious emotions. It is time he remembers how to be fey.'

I swallowed, 'But what about Ethan?'

'I know not.'

The Strangely Beautiful Tale of Miss Percy Parker

Darkness was behind. In the sunlight ahead, out on the rocks, a figure reached toward her in anguish.

“No.” She shook her head. “Don’t take me just yet; give me one more hour…”

“Your time has come, love,” said the eerie man and his cold hand seized her shoulder to lead her into the darkness.



So funny! This dude's impersonation of Alan Rickman is just spot on and hilarious. *gigglefit* ^_^

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