*breath whooshes out* Ok. I needed to hear that. I needed perspective 'coz when you're in the middle of it and people are saying one thing and you're feeling another, it's impossible to be objective. And wondering whether I'm the bad guy is nearly as rough as what I put up when he's in one of his moods, because I'm always torn between being angry at myself for not being able to please him and resenting him for these numerous impossibly petty demands.

I've talked with my grandmother before about my problems with him and I think it's the generation gap. He grew up in Fiji on a farm and he's been poor and struggling for every bite of food on the table, getting up at the crack of dawn every morning to do chores and all that. I think that's why he drives himself so much, since he's felt what it's like to have nearly nothing and he doesn't want to ever be back in that situation. And I'm growing up in comparative luxury, getting everything so easy without having to lift a finger. *shrugs*

And when he gets angry- I thinking the shouting isn't a big deal to him 'coz when he grew up, adults would deal out physical punishment. So to him, I think it's like, 'why is yelling at her so bad? I'm not taking a switch to her or anything'. I mean, he'd talk about his parents sending him out to cut a branch from the tree to use on him when he'd get into trouble, FFS. And he's not bitter, it's all perfectly normal to him, he thought it was appropriate. *shakes head* I try to understand all that, but then, I didn't grow up like he did, I'm not as tough as he is and it still hurts.

Thanks for straightening things out in my head. It's good to get your ideas on what's happening and it's really helped. *huggles*