marguerite_krux | 'Color me blue, I'm lost in you, don't know why I'm still waiting...'

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'Color me blue, I'm lost in you, don't know why I'm still waiting...'

Last time I drew a comparison between Sanctuary’s John Druitt and our politician Peter Garrett. [Eerie, no?]

Now I bring your attention to Will Zimmerman. As soon as I saw him, I was all over the obvious Daniel Jackson comparison.

Apparently that’s why he ditched the glasses, lol.
But as Netty and I were doing our marathon, she turns to me and goes, ‘Hey, he looks like Harry Potter’ just as I was turning to her to say the same! [Great minds, etc. etc.] REALLY. Lookit.

I admit, there's little more than 'white male, brown hair, glasses' to this comparison. *shrugs* But still!

The 'Golden Trio'. Lol.

Mentor/student relationship.

Dumbledore and Harry ain't got nothing on Will and Helen's chemistry. :D

Shades of Dumbledore’s relationship with Harry.

After the death of his parents, Dumbledore left Harry with his relatives and kept him away from the world of magic, leaving him ignorant, if not exactly blissful. After his mother's death, Magnus also chose to keep him unaware of the fact that monsters- excuse me, Abnormals exist in our world, leaving him blissfully ignorant, suppressing all his traumatic memories.

Both Dumbledore and Magnus are expert at manipulating the people around them, even if they are benevolent, they're rather ruthless about the way they pull the strings. They've learned all too well how to provoke the reactions they want from those around them, what with being over a century old.

Although Dumbledore looks his age, while Helen is absolutely gorgeous. :D

And this, THIS!

Will: You’ve withheld things from me. You were there, weren’t you?

Helen: She was an extraordinarily brave woman. She died protecting you from that creature.

Will: You could have stopped it, done something.

Magnus: We tried, Will. I swear to you, we tried. It all happened so quickly we barely had time to rescue you

Firstly, note the same petulance in both Harry and Will- always blaming other people for the death of their loved ones. So irrational, tsk, tsk. Thankfully, it's just a temporary lapse in Will, while I've given up Harry as a lost cause, the self-centered prat.

Secondly- come on, the self-sacrificing mother, who dies to protect her son from evil monsters?

Harry and Will both get to see their mothers- unfortunately for Will, it's just a hallucination trying to lure him to his death, but Harry gets some closure with seeing his mother's spirit as she once again protects him from the Dak Lord. [Useless brat]

Their special destiny.

Of course Harry was always meant to grow into his heritage of 'Boy-Who-Lived', to be groomed to take down the Dark Lord. [Which meant half-assing a plan, breaking all sorts of rules, getting into trouble, endangering others and waiting for the adults to come sacrifice themselves and rescue the Trio's butts, then whinging about how it wasn't his fault because nobody treated him like an adult. *headdeskfloorwall*]

Magnus: I’ve known this was your destiny since you first came to my attention.

Will: Yeah, since you knocked me down in an alley.

Magnus: Since you were eight years old, actually...when you told the world a monster killed your mother.

And finally? Later on in the marathon, Will actually puts on a British accent!
‘Isn’t rather odd sort of your stock in trade?'
That totally made us giggle even harder, it was like a special shout-out to us, lol.

You all need to appreciate how awesome Netty is. Seriously, best friend in RL, and the fact that she’s family is a bonus.

[Druitt appears onscreen, all menacing and mysterious-like]

Netty: Who’s that? The science tech guy?
Me: Uh…no. What do you think when they talk about prostitutes being killed?
Netty: *confuzzled*
Me: Historical context, dead hookers, come on…
Netty: Oh, oh, Marguerite and Roxton, with the two guys that were killing together… Jack the Ripper!

Lol. The woman drops TLW references into conversation. My love for her, it is infinite. :D

---

Vidspam.
Three minutes in, Will does a brief impression of Helen's British accent. But it's well worth watching the whole thing- if you're a fan, it'll remind you of some of the best moments of hilarity. If you're not, well, off with you, become addicted already! :P

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Okay, obviously I totally suck for not liking Harry Potter. But we'll just leave that aside, shall we, because there are more important things to discuss like Hotch's ties!

I voted for the "I don't-give-a-damn-about-his-ties-he's-hot" one, but that's not entirely true. If if were up to me, I'd probably say that stripy blue, plain red and blue spotty are my favourites, going on the pictures exhibited above. However, I will also say that it is very rare that I actually notice what tie he's wearing (although I usually always notice if he's wearing a navy blue suit/blue shirt combination, because the man looks FINE in blue), because I'm usually *ahem* fangirling. So therein lies the problem.

Re your personal stuff... I'm not sure exactly what happened with Marina (coming in late to the party here), but if it's what I'm thinking it is (best friends breaking up?), then I've been through the same thing in my life, with my friend Jessica, who was my absolute best friend through high school. We had soooo much in common, we liked the same music, same TV shows, same movies, had the same group of friends, everything and then one day she made a new friend and that was kind of the end for us. And it was pretty painful (there was a whole text messaging war between me and the new friend but that's not important), and it took me a looooong time to get over it, but surprisingly enough we reconnected through the wonder of Facebook and our friendship is (dare I say it?) back on track. And it was a baaad break-up (technically, they are break-ups, aren't they?). So I feel your pain and have a *huggle*. :)

Re your dad... hooooly shit. How the hell do you live in that household? Are you counting the days until you leave or...? That is awful. Have another *huggles*, okay? *huggles*

You do not sound selfish and ungrateful, but your father does sound like an asshole and what he is doing is abuse. Sometimes people try to act as if since other people have it worse that its not, but it is and the scars will can be just as deep and everlasting, believe me I know. I can understand how and why you do not love him and he doesnt deserve that love anyway. You are so awesome and if he cant see that and he mistreats you, he doesnt deserve to be a part of that awesomeness. I wish there was something more profoud I could say but I do know a little of what you're going through and your feelings are perfectly normal. *hugs tight*

Onto something a little lighter........Aaron Hotchner is much too much of a sexy beast to be wearing those tacky ass ties. I am a serious tie girl, nothing gets me more excited than a sexy man in a sexy tie. I was so enamored with the Hotchness that until you pointed it out, I havent paid a damn lick of attention to his ties. So that goes to show that he's pretty damn awesome! Now that it has been brought to the forefront of my mind I think he needs to have a tie telethon and get some that are worthy of his sexiness. Pronto. Cuz that's a damn shame. Seriously.

Noooo! You can't be disrespecting the Hotch ties! They are part of Hotch, and therefore a part of his awesomeness. I can't believe it. I sound like some kid from the hood...

BTW, I can't even say the "D-word" because my old man (or "the old bastard", as I like to call him) was so bad. I understand some of what you're going through...we had the same sort of thing, though it also involved alcoholism and physical violence.

Just work at getting yourself out of the situation. And until you can, keep as much to yourself as possible. It may not seem strong to just stay in your room and avoid him like the plague, but it's probably better for your sanity in the long run.

Bottom line, being a good provider doesn't make someone a good parent.

*hugs* Honey, your father may not physically abuse you and your mum, but darling, it sounds like he is emotionally abusing both of you, plain and simple. It's just as bad, if not worse than physical since it fucks up your self-esteem. So I'm not about to tell you how awful you are (cause you're so not) for not loving him or calling him dad. He doesn't deserve to be called dad as far as I'm concerned.

You are NOT weak for crying when he abuses you (that's what he's doing). Him being a hard worker should NEVER excuse his behavior of how he treats you and your mum. My dad was a hard worker and he never treated our family like that. You father is an abusive man emotionally. I'm going to guess he was probably abused by someone in his life and that's why he's continuing the cycle.

*hugs* I suggest you get out as soon as you possibly can. I'd also recommend seeking counseling to help you out. There is nothing wrong with staying in your room to avoid him since you're basically protecting yourself, which is a good thing to do. You are an awesome young lady and he's too ignorant to see it.

I'm glad you have Netty. :D

Providing a roof and food, etc. does not a good parent make. I don't mean to insult your father, I'm just trying to say that you don't have to feel guilty for having problems with him just because he provides for you materially. A lot of people think that they should worship their parents and do every ding dong thing their parents demand of them just because of this, and while it is nice, and it is part of being a good parent, it's not even half of what it takes to be a good parent.
*hugs* Hang in there.

Your relationship with your Dad sounds really awful hun. Have you tried talking to him about it? What about your mother? Sometimes you can go to some sort of counselling? Ack, sorry you're going through this hun. Parents should be there to help and support you, not cause more trouble.

*breath whooshes out* Ok. I needed to hear that. I needed perspective 'coz when you're in the middle of it and people are saying one thing and you're feeling another, it's impossible to be objective. And wondering whether I'm the bad guy is nearly as rough as what I put up when he's in one of his moods, because I'm always torn between being angry at myself for not being able to please him and resenting him for these numerous impossibly petty demands.

I've talked with my grandmother before about my problems with him and I think it's the generation gap. He grew up in Fiji on a farm and he's been poor and struggling for every bite of food on the table, getting up at the crack of dawn every morning to do chores and all that. I think that's why he drives himself so much, since he's felt what it's like to have nearly nothing and he doesn't want to ever be back in that situation. And I'm growing up in comparative luxury, getting everything so easy without having to lift a finger. *shrugs*

And when he gets angry- I thinking the shouting isn't a big deal to him 'coz when he grew up, adults would deal out physical punishment. So to him, I think it's like, 'why is yelling at her so bad? I'm not taking a switch to her or anything'. I mean, he'd talk about his parents sending him out to cut a branch from the tree to use on him when he'd get into trouble, FFS. And he's not bitter, it's all perfectly normal to him, he thought it was appropriate. *shakes head* I try to understand all that, but then, I didn't grow up like he did, I'm not as tough as he is and it still hurts.

Thanks for straightening things out in my head. It's good to get your ideas on what's happening and it's really helped. *huggles*

*hides* I know, I KNOW. I feel like the lowest form of scum for failing in my fangirl duties to him, but- but it really gets me! It's just that ONE tie, I love the others! But it's just so tacky looking, I can't stand it...

Sometimes people try to act as if since other people have it worse that its not, but it is and the scars will can be just as deep and everlasting

THAT. I can't help feeling ashamed of myself for being so- IDK, childish about my little problems when it could be so much worse. I think you're the one that keeps telling me that it doesn't matter what other people have suffered, it's what my feelings are that matter. I just- I kinda want to be able to hate him full time. But he'll make me cry and I'll wish he was dead and then he'll do something nice, joke around- buy me an iPod out of the blue- and that makes me feel guilty for what I was thinking before. Gah. It's a mess.

Okay, don't get alarmed because this isn't a code for me being in serious trouble or anything, but mother and I were watching that CM ep where Elle loses it and shoots that rapist- and JJ says to the victim, something along the lines of, 'You think if he'd hurt you worse, it'd be better?' Because the girls weren't really hurt that badly, so people kept dismissing what happened to them. Mother told me once that if he ever hit me, she'd leave him and I can't help- sometimes, in my more irrational, hysterical moments- resenting that he's treading that line and keeping to the verbal abuse because I wish we could leave.

But I don't want to give the impression that he's always a total bastard. It's not 24/7, but it's definitely continuous and exhausting and...I'm so tired of it.

Aaron Hotchner is much too much of a sexy beast to be wearing those tacky ass ties.

Yes! Thank you for agreeing with me! I was afraid I was alienating the Hotch!fangirl-base by daring to criticize his fashion, but omg, it IS the tackiest tie! I kinda want to send him a tie with koala bears and kangaroos and see if he'll wear it, lol. *snickers* Hopefully his season 5 wardrobe has been enhanced...we'll get to see pretty soon! ^_^

The generation gap may be part of it, but if he's flying off the handle over your mum not getting him Mentos and throwing a fit as a result. Or freakin' out of the food wrapper, sounds like emotional abuse to me...especially if he does similar stuff a lot.

You are not evil for not loving him because of his behavior. I don't think he's evil, just messed up. My dad grew up in similar situation in rural Georgia. But he didn't treat me or my sibs or mom like your father treats you and your mum. Imho he needs help and so do you and your mum. There's nothing wrong with getting help for the abuse.

*hugs* Hang in there kiddo and know that I'm only a PM away if you EVER need anything. You are an awesome person, period. Let no one tell you differently. *hugs*

Hehe. We do love the Hotch, though. The Hotch is the best thing since sliced bread!

*snickers* Dude. I don't like Harry Potter. I frakking hate his guts. But it's funny that people confuse that with hating the series- mother caught me watching the first movie and was all confuzzled, 'I thought you couldn't stand it?' For the record, I hate the CHARACTER. *stabs his whiny, useless self* But I love Snape. *coughs* As the last few entries probably show, it's not a secret I have a massive crush on him, lol. And Hermione's damn awesome. I wish it was the Hermione Granger series, instead of focusing on a useless, meagerly-talented, lobotomized prat without an ounce of sense to his credit. Oh, yes, playing QUIDDITCH and wining the HOUSE CUP is WAY more important than DEFEATING THE DARK LORD.

/rant. *guilty eyes* I get carried away...

there are more important things to discuss like Hotch's ties!

*squishes you* TOTALLY way important! I'm glad you have your priorities straight! Lol.

Mmm, the plain red one is really cool- I love that he coordinated it with Emily's top in the ep with the paint-sniffing, train-hopping UNSUB. And the stripy blue is so classy.

Not that it's all about the ties. Seeing him in his bullet-proof jacket, mmm. And omg, remember the rolled up sleeves and bared forearms in Minimal Loss. RAWRRR. >:P

I'll admit, it took me three seasons to finally notice the tie- but I think that's less because of the fangirling and more because I pay more attention to the women's wardrobe- they get the cool outfits, whereas the men have less variety and it's more boring. You know how they say women dress for other women, lol, we all judge each other all the time. *eyeroll*

Marina. Looong story (http://borg-princess.livejournal.com/39360.html#cutid1) Officially she was the head librarian at my high school. Unofficially, she was like another mother to me. Actually, given that I was on the outs with my own mother- and you already know about me and my father- that whole year, she was the only person I could turn to and trust to hear me out without mocking me or dismissing me. She was my life support, basically, and then she left school and I couldn't see her anymore and it- well, there are no words for how sucktastic that was. I was seriously depressed and on the edge and she kept reining me back in and supporting me and- just cutting the cord like that. It feels like she died and I just can't get any closure on it.

Though a shrink would probably say I'm using her as an emotional crutch. Maybe I am. Maybe I'm clinging to that as my great tragedy in life so I can handicap myself and absolve myself of the need to deal with things or get over it. *shrugs* Self-sabotage was always my forte.

My father. *sighs* I don't know. He's not a deadbeat dad, he's totally dedicated to making sure our lives are comfortable and we have what we need, I think 'coz he grew up poor, that's kind of a fixation for him and he needs to be all controlling so that things are perfect and he doesn't have to worry about ending up on the streets or anything. I get that he stresses because of that. But- seriously, yesterday, I get home after posting this and after the regular inane chitchat ['how was your day?'/'all right'/'good'/'yeah'], the first real conversation we have is when he tells me off for- NOT TYING THE PLASTIC BAGS TIGHT ENOUGH. *headdesk* I don't know. There's just no pleasing him, it's so damn frustrating!

But thankies for teh huggles, they help! *squishes* And seriously, thanks for caring and listening to me. It helps writing this stuff out, and it's doubly helpful with your comments.

Re: your friend. Ouch. I haven't been in quite that position- like I said, Marina was a maternal figure, not a traditional 'friend' as such- but I know that it hurts to lose regular friends, so I can't imagine what it was like to lose a best friend of so many years. Having someone that matched your interests and goals in so many areas and then for that to be over...[yikes, text war? Way to add salt to the wound, grr, life] I am glad that you did reconnect with her and fix your friendship, because it sounds like she's well worth having in your life. Good luck with maintaining that friendship- I'm not going to google because I'll spend all day on it otherwise, but there's a quote about how friendship isn't supposed to be easy, but the rewards are worth the effort put into strengthening and keeping them going.

It definitely sounds to me like your father has a severe mood disorder. He reminds me very much of my own and I won't say a word about your father, but i have a few words to say about mine. The fact that he worked his ass off every day doesn't change the fact that he was a racist, sexist, homophobic, mysogynistic, abusive, controlling ass-hat. I got to a point where no longer letting myself love him was the easiest thing for me in terms of no longer letting him hurt or upset me.

*hugs you* PM me if you ever need to talk about it

Oh, the Will/Harry thing was hysterical, btw... I saw a picture of Will next to a picture of Danny boy and nearly stopped reading. I'm glad I kept on. That was the funniest thing ever and I may need to dose myself with retcon to be able to rewatch Sanctuary season 1 now without giggling helplessly the entire time

I'm sorry that you're in the situation where you can understand- and sorrier that there was physical violence involved. *hugs*

Believe me, I play 'least-in-sight' as much as possible. Not to the point where I'm obviously avoiding him, because that makes him madder- I used to not say anything to him at all, but then he got into a fit because I never came out of my room to say 'hi' to him at the end of the day. What a surprise that I wouldn't want to be in close proximity if I could avoid it. *eyeroll* But that hurt his feelings, apparently. Enough that he stormed into my room and bellowed his displeasure in the most obnoxious, offensive manner possible. Because that'd just inspire an outpouring of relief and joy at seeing him arrive at home, huh? So just to keep the peace, I make an appearance, some idle chitchat and then disappear again. I feel like I'm running psych experiments sometimes, trying to condition a response in him or something, lol. *shakes head* Definitely need to dig out my text on behavior modification.

being a good provider doesn't make someone a good parent
Word. *nodnod*

Most people would not understand this, and would think I was evil, but I was relieved when he died.

He just sounds very angry. Maybe he needs some anger management treatment, but then it'd probably make him angry if you suggested it. How does your mother handle it?

Oh, no, I definitely don't think you're evil. I wish mine was dead. *shrugs*
When I was a kid, that was my main wish when I'd look out my window at the stars. 'Star light, star bright, the first star I see tonight, I wish I may, I wish I might, have the wish I wish tonight...'

Lol. He doesn't believe in things like depression and other problems. Thinks it's all a gimmick by doctors to con money out of people. When a school friend committed suicide by driving into a truck, my father said he was evil and just wanted to kill someone. He'd have a field day with the suggestion of anger management.

Mother. Mother holds it all in. She'll snap at me now and again when the pressure's too much and I don't- well, I mind, but I don't snap back because I know where it's coming from. She loves him, though, so. *shrugs*

Every once in a while, she'll lose it and scream back at him and I just want him to realize what he's doing to her, because she's so calm and controlled as a rule, and to hear her when she starts ranting and raving...but he'll just scoff at her and act like she's over-reacting and she'll storm off, they'll keep their distance for a day or so, but then it all gets patched up again. *snorts* I've learned to deal with the disappointment.

Ngl, I love Hotch in the blue ties the most :3

Mm-hmm, blue suits him really well!

Not that I'm having flashbacks to Minimal Loss, with the uncharacteristically casual look he was sporting, sleeves of his blue-and-white checked shirt rolled up. The more he's covered up, the more tantalizing it is on those rare occasions when the jacket comes off, lol. *blissful sigh*

Bopping on over here from the

criminalxminds comm! Awesome picspam! I thiiiink the tie in this cap is my favourite: http://i744.photobucket.com/albums/xx90/borg_princess/cm/cap241.jpg

And, after reading your entry I just wanna offer a big hug to you (even though I don't know you, but it's for support so it's not creepy right??? >.> If so...then I'm sorry. xD) for that stuff with your dad. My father was very much the same way when I was in high school (WHICH DOES WONDERS FOR ONE'S SELF ESTEEM OF COURSE!!) so I can sympathize greatly. :(

. . . but screw that! Let's talk about ties! Or perhaps I should call them variations on an ugly theme. Poor Hotch! His shirts must ache for something more!! Though I'm supposed to be cramming for my SGA Big Bang due date, I feel a really strong urge to write a Hotch crack!tie fic. . . .

Darn you! That's totally the wrong kinda plot bunny!

Thanks for this :) It refressed the old brain cells (or killed a few, YMMV ). Back to cramming.

I love Hotch's polka-dot red tie! Also, i suspect those aren't actually polka dots on the tie, but some other pattern. Besides it looks much better than his other ties.

And Will totally looks like Harry! See now i wish Robbin Dunne would play Harry and maybe the movies would be actually good for a change.

Your dad sounds a lot like my dad.

I hate the HP books with the fire of a thousand suns, I have a weird love/hate relationship with those books.

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'Color me blue, I'm lost in you, don't know why I'm still waiting...'

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I so should be doing something else . . .

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