Mary pic!spam

[marguerite_krux]

Ha, I totally blame twentyplanes for my late essay. [Yes, I blame everyone but myself] 

After I read this intriguing post on Mary’s past characters, I hunted down a copy of Sneakers. And thoughts of study flew out the airlock.

Ah, Liz. How I hated this name as an abbreviation for SGA’s Elizabeth Weir. [And snickered at miera_c’s *brilliant response*]

"Elizabeth Weir" has never been called anything but "Elizabeth" or "Dr. Weir" on the show (though one can only imagine some of the names people like Caldwell, Kavanagh and Kolya have used privately). If you routinely write someone calling her "Liz" or "Lizzie" in fic, that's your choice, but prepare to 1) get people pointing out to you that it's against canon and b) expect to turn some readers off as there are people for whom this is a warning sign that you're a 14 year old girl who probably won't spell check and possibly can't spell "Weir" correctly. I'm just sayin.

But how wonderful it sounds for Mary’s character in Sneakers. I must buy a legal copy of this movie! Yes, it’s cheesy, plus it’s from the 90s so it’s dated but it’s so light-hearted and she’s so wonderful that I have now watched each of her scenes about fifty times in two days. And my feet still haven’t touched the ground, I’m all bouncy and giggly and just…blissful. It’s that good, yes. Or maybe I should say, I am that obsessed, yes. I don’t care!

I am not ashamed to say that I fast-forwarded through the parts Mary wasn’t in. It meant I lost track of the storyline and looked really blank because I had no clue what they were babbling on, but let’s face it, no one else has anywhere near her level of charisma. Not my fault they can’t hold my attention, is it? Although you can't say it's entirely their fault...probably helps if you look like this...



*twirls* ;-P

You know, this was actually meant to be like, my *thoughts* on the movie, just a few paragraphs and that's over and done with...then I realized that while my dvd drive may be out of action, moviemaker can also take caps and that's when it turned into an hours-long production, lol. It's pretty much all pics now...and incoherent glee... >;D

So, twenty minutes in, we FINALLY get to see her- and from her very first frozen glance at Bishop, I knew it couldn’t be anything less than brilliant. Because female hostility and men-bashing is fun. ;)

He’s all confident that his charm will win her over…

Except- maybe not so much.

I can’t believe she’s not swept off her feet just being in my presence. The nerve.

She kinda scared me with that ‘practice, practice, practice’ thing. I turned up the volume way up because her voice was soft and then she went SHRILL. Mama was all, ‘What the hell is that?’ Whoops.

 

I don’t think the little prodigy needs more practice. But she’s so cute with the kid, so whatever.

I love her self-assurance. He turns up and she immediately shoots him down.

Liz: We’re not getting back together.
Bishop: Did I say anything?
Liz [confidently]: You will.

Gods, I wish I had that panache. She’s like, I don’t care what you say, I know you want me and you can’t HAVE me. So there. And then proceeds to pay out his little ‘boys club’, doing her best to emasculate him, and shoots one of my many favorite lines, ‘I will not be dragged back into your world. I have a new group of gifted children now and I like the fact that they’re under 30’. SNAP.

But my mind comes out of hibernation and proceeds to have a semi-intelligent thought that isn’t all fangirly. Liz says she doesn’t want to be dragged back into his world. Does that mean just on a personal level, as his girlfriend, or was she involved in sekrit spy stuff too? I don’t think so, because for the rest of the movie, when they’re out reconnoitering, she’s not around. Which is greatly disappointing on a fan level, but in terms of her character, is that by choice because she has no interest in the cloak-and-dagger business anymore; or was she not involved simply because she isn’t and never was one of them? Hmm. She knew that Gregor dude, though,  and they were really familiar with each other, in the familiarity of people who had been in the business against each other...?

I love how Bishop keeps trying to act like he’s on business and yet every word out of his mouth sounds like a lovelorn suitor’s- ‘thought I’d buy you dinner…I need you…’ Even his denials lack conviction. ‘It’s not a date, it’s a scientific exploration…don’t flatter yourself…’ Pfft.

You know you want me.

He’s so transparent! And that little pumped fist when she finally agrees is so cute. Bet he didn’t think he’d have to fight so hard to get her interested.

 

*smirks* She’s too good for you, Bish. Take this victory and make it last.

Ah, this scene. For the first time, there is a chink in her armour. Well, it was fun having invincible!Liz, now I guess we had to have some sort of romantic tension without her stomping on it. I adore the way she cut him off when he was trying to flirt with her...

Are you seeing anyone?
Shh.

...and then just watch her face when she works up the nerve to ask him if he has any significant others…I wasted life with a whole season of Desperate Housewives and it can’t measure up to the wealth of expression and how much feeling she conveys in a few seconds here. 




You can see her thinking about asking him, the indecisiveness, starting to and chickening out, then deciding to bite the bullet...


Are you seeing any-?
Shh

....but as soon as he shushes her, she snaps back into default mode like she knew it had been a bad idea the whole time and really, this is all for the best and who cares about his love life and just hides any trace of embarrassment behind a placid exterior. It’s just so funny.

 

I am unperturbed. Nothing happened, nothing to see here, folks…*looks innocent*

OH, OH, OH! The best scene in the entire movie, Liz dancing! 

 I don’t dance, but damn, this makes me want to embarrass myself on the dance floor, lol. 

Look at the giddiness! The fun! How can you not want to join in?!




It’s not nearly long enough. *pouts* But such magic while it lasts. Such random glorious magic. *sighs dreamily*




Yes, I have in fact watched this scene a gazillion times. And I plan to introduce everyone in my sphere to it and DEFY them to resist joining in the glee. Heh.

Moving on..there is actually a movie happening before and after this scene, lol.

Liz and the Jerk

CIA dude: We are going to institute some security around here.
Liz: This is where I get off. Nice to see you again, guys. I’m outta here.
CIA dude [obnoxiously]: Don’t take this the wrong way, Liz. But you were the only one who knew Martin’s secret. 

OMFG, is there any other way to take that?! He's accusing her of selling them out! *rages*

CIA dude [continues]: Somebody talked. So make yourself comfortable, we’re all staying right here tonight.

Oh no you di’int…

Liz: No. I’m getting my bag. And I’m leaving. So relax.

CIA dude: I’ll relax when we get that damn thing outta here. Until then, you stay.

You are so airlocked...
Damn, where are my presidential powers of airlocking when I need them?

Bishop [finally taking an interest]: What?
CIA dude [in a non-sequitur]: There’s isn’t a government on this planet that wouldn’t kill us all for that thing.
Bishop [makes a big production of standing up solemnly to face Liz to convey the magnitude of this statement]: Sorry.

Liz: I see. [at their retreating traitorous backs] Thank you for the trust, fellas.

It’s kinda chilling. She says ‘I see’ in that cold Roslin tone that precedes an airlocking. But she’s Liz so she’s not about to kill anyone. But it still FEELS like there is impending doom…this just plays on so many levels when watching as a BSG fan! Or am I the only one that feels this?!



There was such an ominous feel to this little scene. Dude playing with gun in the dark of night. Ookay, leaving aside the unintentional innuendo there, he had this glint in his eye that, in conjunction with the portentous music, led me to believe he was an evil traitor. What a red herring. But really, what was the point of this entire sequence? They don’t trust her? *iz flabbergasted* If she was gonna betray them, how does keeping her there overnight solve anything?

This is a comedy more than anything. And this scene is so out of place. It’s like they were thinking about being hard-core by setting up group tension and distrust but it went nowhere. It came off more like CIA dude was being a jackass rather than ‘oh, we should doubt Liz’s loyalty’, you know? Because Bishop trusts her and she’s been helping when she didn’t really need to, so wtf with the suspicion?

The next morning, not being one to slink out with her tail between her legs, Liz is poised as ever, making a point of farewelling everyone. ‘I really enjoyed sleeping with all you guys. Take care.’ *dies laughing* Her tone, her glacial dignity, the ridiculous innuendo, everything…just makes that line so so awesome. And the dudes are all sheepish and subdued, heh. 



Bishop helps her with her coat. Seriously, what, women are incapable of this simple act? Really? That’s the second time in this movie. Except he has the bad manners to engage her in a tug of war over it!



Anyway, she accepts his unwanted chivalrous gesture but draws the line at letting him caress her face, and so she should. 




He can help her with the coat if he has to, but she doesn't need nothing else from him! Teach him to take liberties...she pushes his hand away but concedes a soft, ‘I hope the hand-off goes well.’

 And I’m thinking, what, she’s going easy on him? Don't be nice, crush his fragile male ego! Then she verbally bitchsmacks him ‘I’d hate for you to have something new to run from.’ HA.

How did that go so totally wrong? I thought I had her...

And he just stands there dumbfounded and watches her stride off. Top points for having the last word! And such a lovely parting shot. Accurate and vicious, hee!

I wonder if she was extra harsh because he was so hitting on her with the whole ‘I’ll get my hands on her in the guise of being a gentleman’ charade and she was feeling vulnerable. 

Oh my gods. I just had a flashback to a fire drill in high school during which I engaged in a ‘grass’ fight with this dude in my class, and afterwards, he was all ‘here, let me brush off these bits of grass on your back’ and after that, I started being really hostile to him and destroyed our pseudo-friendship. Wow. It all makes sense to me now. If I maybe-kinda-just-a-little like a guy, I bite off his head if he’s nice to me. It’s easier to burn my bridges than it is to risk a real relationship. Thanks, Mary. I’m that much more self-aware now. And I so need a shrink, damn it.

Back to the plot and the obligatory hurt-comfort scene. Aww, I love how she doesn’t betray any reaction to how awful he looks.

Bish: I’ve had a bad night.
Liz: Really? You look terrific. [I adore how sarcastic she is without SOUNDING sarcastic, people exaggerate it too much these days when they need to pull it back a notch and stop trying to be cool]
Bish: You look awful.

There he goes, in denial again. Tsk, tsk. As if Liz looks awful in her silky robe, you dumb-ass. Try another one.

I love how she’s tending to his face and when he winces- she smiles. HEE! What a sadist… lmao. >:D

This is the part where I confess my kink about wrists. Wrists and collar bones. My favorite body parts. Sure, I WISH I was stick thin but that ain’t gonna happen, so I fixate on, yes, wrists and collar bones. And she has lovely delicate wrists.

Let's all stare at the wrist. DO IT. >:D

I keep thinking they’re gonna kiss and it never happens. Not that I’m disappointed. I’d rather keep the UST than chuck it in for a random quickie for the sake of it. But jeez, talk about having your heart in your eyes.





Aww. Doesn’t that make you want to squish her and make it all better?

[At least she does a better job of containing her feelings than Torri's character in Airborne. I choked on laughter every time she made a point of telling the main dude that she was going to bed...going to shower...like it was an invitation or something! So obvious, lol.]

And now a change of pace. Less pseudo-angsting, and more lol!humor, some seduction and mad spy skillz. And gratuitous leg shots, heh.

I doubt when Liz said that she was there for him that she meant he could invite his secret boy club pals to TOTALLY TRASH HER HOUSE. [Literally, which I’ll get to in a minute] I love the tight-lipped expression on her face. Like, I’m in hell. I’m actually in hell. What did I ever do…?

Ah, Liz, glorified butler. Dude’s all ‘Nice apartment’ and she is SO thinking, ‘yeah, but not for much longer, I bet’.

Gratuitous leg shots!

[I'm of the opinion that naming something for what it truly is enables a person to get away with it. As opposed to pretending it's something it isn't...like...oh, yes, my appreciation of the trash form spurred me to cap the following...*snorts*]

Gadgets wizard: Sorry, Liz. Standard procedure. Trash from the guy’s house.
TOTALLY NOT SOUNDING SORRY AT ALL. What, was it 'pick on the obsessive-compulsive' day? Why else would one dump garbage all over the nice clean floor?! Practically on her SHOES. Hell kinda respect is this?

Liz: And thank you for bringing it into mine.

I love how dry and resigned she is. It’s like, ‘yes, the world’s crashing around my ears but I will soldier through it somehow’. And she has a glass of something to help her through it. Lol, they’ve driven her to drink! I bet she wants to clench that hand into a fist and drive it through his thick skull right about now. Ohhh, the self-restraint...

Scene with Ending a Blind Man Could See Coming

Bishop: He’s a computer dater.
CIA dude: I love it. Let’s get him a date.
Bishop: What was the name of that girl…we used last year…?
CIA dude: Forget it, she married a cop. How about Barbara? She was cute.
Gadgets wizard: Yeah, but she’d never do it. She regards this work as juvenile. That’s why she divorced me. How about your friend Jessie?
Young genius: Yeah, she’s buff.
Liz: Fellas.

This is why I don't wear short skirts. I have no idea how she manages to crouch with dignity. It's too hard for me!

Liz [making the simple act of kneeling super sexy]: Fellas, look at this man’s trash. He’s not looking for buff.

Gadgets wizard: He has the nicest garbage I’ve ever seen.

Liz [musingly]:  The man who folded this tube of Crest is looking for someone meticulous…refined…anal.

[Everyone turns to look at her]
Liz: What?



Hee, I can’t quite figure out her angle here. Is she genuinely unaware that she’s describing herself? Or is she just acting coy? That little turn of her head and drawl make it seem coy, but…that would mean she *wanted* them to pick her for the part, and she already said she didn't want to be involved in this again. Allowing your home to be used as temporary headquarters is one thing, but actively volunteering is another. Hmm…anyway, it makes me giggle regardless.

Charming fellow, isn't he? Jeez.

OH, her seduction of Werner just makes me all squirmy because he’s so DUMB and she’s so OBVIOUS but it’s hilarious at the same time.

She knows her best angles and she’s playing them for all she’s worth, heh. What man or woman stands a chance?! 



*sighs* Ah, the wrist again. I'm now officially disturbed by my fixation.

I love the way she’s there on a mission and they ain’t leaving til she’s done. Her determination would wear down mountains, I swear.



I mean, it reaches the point where she literally grabs him and pulls him back down into his seat which should really make you suspicious at that point, but no, she has him wrapped around her little finger.

Liz: Talk to me. You know what? I really love the sound of your voice.
Werner: Really? I always thought it was kind of nasal and pinched.
Liz [lying through her perfect teeth]: Oh, not at all, it’s lovely. And you know, there’s this one word, I’ve always loved the sound of this word.
Werner: What…?
Liz [coyly]: Oh, no!
Werner: No, what, what?
Liz [giggling girlishly]: No, you wouldn’t-

Werner: No, I would, I would
Liz: God…never mind…
Werner [totally suckered]: What? Please?
Liz: All right…I would really like to hear you say the word…[whispers seductively] passport…
Werner [dumbfounded]: Passport?
Hee, not the dirty word he had in mind?

She's happy! Shes so happy that her job is finally done!
Liz [relieved]: You know, you’re right, we ought to leave.
Now that her mission’s accomplished, she’s eager to ditch this loser...not even hiding it...heartless!

Werner: Uh…would you like to have breakfast with me?
Liz [carelessly]: Sure, fine.
Werner [sleazily]: Shall I phone you or nudge you? [leers]

Grotesque little man. No wonder he's single and desperate if he trots out those cringeworthy lines on his other hapless blind dates.

Liz [unamused]: Cheque, please?


She's just so relieved that he's not her problem anymore. 'I have recorded the required phrase, now I can ditch him with a clear conscience...' I'm disappointed she didn't make an acidic retort, but I guess she knew they might need him so she couldn't alienate him just yet...what a shame...he's so dimwitted, I'd've enjoyed seeing her break him open and stomp over the little pieces. Oh, hush, can I help it if I find that amusing?!

And now for the ending...home stretch, yay! Not that I'm not enjoying this but I've been hunched over this laptop for hours and I'm not at my sharpest at 4 in the morning, sadly. Ye gods, I still have a way to go...

Hmm, you know, there was this unfulfilled sense of danger permeating the scenes when she’s discovered.


She actually looks afraid of that pompous fool. Can he be more intimidating than his balding head and pot belly would suggest?

It’s almost disappointing that nothing actually happens. Of course, I’d rather err on the side of nothing-happens if my other alternative is that she *dies*, but I’m just saying. The whole ‘let’s go for a ride’ thing? There was actually a quaver in her voice when she tried to be chirpy and go ‘boy, this was fun- wanna go back?’ like she was really scared. Also, him dragging her forcibly along with him? The armed guards? And THIS.

Villain: You always had to get the girl. So I never did. At least, not until now. She’s lovely, Marty.

Is there not a threat implicit in those words? It’s like in SGA’s The Eye, I never understood why Kolya never smacked Weir when he was threatening Shep with her death, because it would have sold it so much more effectively. Saying, ‘I’m going to kill Dr Weir’ then going ‘I’ve killed her’ is one thing, but wouldn’t it have been better just to backhand her so Shep can HEAR he’s hurting her and lose focus and flail and be like, ‘NOOO! YOU CAN’T KILL MY GIRLFRIEND…’ Psychological warfare, you know. Much more demoralizing and hopefully more distracting so that they make a mistake while they're all riled up. Not that I know anything of mentally torturing people at all.

Ah, yes. A teeny bit of violence, another kink of mine. Not excessive, mind you. I draw the line at rape and murder. But just a little bit of physical force makes for so much better angst, don’t you think? And somehow that leads my cousins tell me I’ll end up in an abusive relationship. I don’t see the correlation, but whatever.

Going back a bit, I love the way Mary works. When they’re about to let her go, her entire demeanor is just so adorably dignified and miffed. I mean, she’s guilty, she’s SO GUILTY but that air of injured innocence is infallible. Hee.

Guard: We’re sorry to have troubled you, miss.
Liz: Not as sorry as I am. [glares] Werner.



Meet my glare of death.

Head tilt of smug vindication.

The inflection in that line…I love how she never overplays a line [except for the ‘practice’ thing], rather than get hysterical and screech, she instead pulls back and goes more quiet and menacing. I especially love how she stares Werner down. And ha, the head tilt of ‘you’re lucky I’m not calling my lawyer’. No nuance is too small for me to fixate upon…

I have to say, the way that she gets caught is just dumb. I mean, seriously.

Villain: We’ll call you a cab.
Liz: Thank you. This is my last computer date.

Non sequitur, much? Wtf? Why would she say that, what sense does that make in the conversation? And Liz, I love you, but do NOT make small talk with the bad guys! It’s just asking for trouble.

HEE, Liz is of the school of ‘fake it til you make it’. I was just dying when she picks up the gun and threatens the guard with it. I swear, he surrendered more out of the fear that she’d accidentally fire the gun and hit him than anything else.

*fires blindly* ‘I’m an excellent marksman- woman!’

WHICH I CAN SO TELL BY THE FIERCE TREMBLING OF HER HANDS!

Love a woman that can lie even when it’s so obvious she’s lying. It’s like, screw you all, I could kill you- even if it’s not on purpose, so just shut up and act like you believe me or I’ll try and blow your head off!

Mwahaha, witness the terror she strikes in their hearts! I bet Bish was just pissing himself hoping she wouldn’t get him by mistake, LOL.

You know what? The trailer LIES. There was a lot of running from bad guys in that trailer, Liz and Bish sprinting down one corridor only to skid to a stop and reverse direction when the guards spot them. Where did all this go in the movie? They kinda just run down one corridor and up some stairs, then they’re outside. Talk about lack of suspense and tension!

And side note. The anagram of Mary McDonnell’s name is hilarious.

‘Carney Mend Moll.’

Um. I totally got whiplash giggling over that. Heh. Small things amuse small minds...?

*sighs* It must be so tiring being honorable all the time. At the end of the movie, she doesn’t even bargain with the government dudes for some sort of reward/bribe.

What do you want?

Oh, nothing. *waves hand dismissively* I’m fine.

I mean, all the other guys extorted some awesome stuff out of the government! Bish had his record cleared. Young genius got a girl’s number. Hell, CIA dude got an all expenses trip to Europe! AND Tahiti. But Liz asks for nothing. *headdesk* I would so totally be shallow and materialistic if I had this opportunity...

And she totally looks at Bishop and like- glows or something. Like she has special plans for him. HIM? She could get the government to do almost anything for her and she’s all content because she’s going to get him? WHYYY? Be selfish, damn it! Think lovely materialistic thoughts!

 Heh, he figures it out. Look at the astonishment. He’s so forgotten all about the guys with guns and little boxes that could change the world order because OMG, she’s SMILING MEANINGFULLY at him. What happened to ‘we’re not getting back together’? Stand by your convictions, Liz. Tsk, tsk.

Hee, the glow. *sighs dreamily*

And I hate myself for being so obsessed. I thought it was a problem when I had two essays due- then it turned out one was due the day BEFORE that…damn it, I'm way too easy when it comes to Mary! Especially since there's a sale on Passion Fish and Sapph's all BUY IT BUY IT. Dude, I need no browbeating at all, lol. I put up a weak token defense and then I'm all ringing the store and harassing them to order it in for me. XP