I didn't think it was mean or condescending, and thanks for your input, though I'm sorry I scared you. >_<
I think uni has some counsellors, I don't know, I should go check that out. It's just so much easier to deal with it here because you guys aren't judgmental or threatening, and I feel a little nervous at the idea of talking to someone in person and articulating all of this stuff. It sounds drama queen-ish. But I guess that's their job, to listen, so I shouldn't be afraid to talk about it.
It's weird, though, because I want to be able to talk to mother, but neither of my parents put much stock in depression. My father says, quite seriously, that it's something doctors made up so they can make money.
Yesterday, mother brought up this scar on my arm and while I want to be able to confide in her and talk about feelings and crap, she had to do it in front of my relatives, so of course I'm not going to talk about cutting and I made up some excuse and she goes, 'Oh, that wasn't from dishwashing' in this challenging tone and it's just like, well, if she wanted to have a serious discussion, she wouldn't have started it in front of other people and she wouldn't be so antagonistic about it, right? Then she didn't bring it up again when we went home later, it's all water under the bridge, so...IDEK. Ugh.
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Date: 2009-02-05 02:50 am (UTC)I think uni has some counsellors, I don't know, I should go check that out. It's just so much easier to deal with it here because you guys aren't judgmental or threatening, and I feel a little nervous at the idea of talking to someone in person and articulating all of this stuff. It sounds drama queen-ish. But I guess that's their job, to listen, so I shouldn't be afraid to talk about it.
It's weird, though, because I want to be able to talk to mother, but neither of my parents put much stock in depression. My father says, quite seriously, that it's something doctors made up so they can make money.
Yesterday, mother brought up this scar on my arm and while I want to be able to confide in her and talk about feelings and crap, she had to do it in front of my relatives, so of course I'm not going to talk about cutting and I made up some excuse and she goes, 'Oh, that wasn't from dishwashing' in this challenging tone and it's just like, well, if she wanted to have a serious discussion, she wouldn't have started it in front of other people and she wouldn't be so antagonistic about it, right? Then she didn't bring it up again when we went home later, it's all water under the bridge, so...IDEK. Ugh.