*hugs* Maybe counseling isn't such a bad idea, I had some counseling too, back when I was in my late teens, early twenties and talking to someone who is not emotionally invested can at least help you relieve some of the emotional baggage. And read books, they'll free your mind, it doesn't matter where you live your mind is free, they cannot have that.

Even if you can't leave you can make the best of the situation, I know it sounds trite but believe me, I know what you're going through and I wish there was a way I could show you that you're going to be okay and in ten years everything will be so much better and this will be nothing but a bad memory. Don't lose hope, really, you will miss so many things, you're just beginning your life, you're a baby, you're so young.