The thing that’s stopping me is my grandmother. She didn’t actually retract her offer- she told me I’m always welcome, no matter what- but she clearly wanted mother and me to make up. I could’ve still moved in with her, but she’d’ve been upset that I basically slapped mother in the face after she made the effort to reach out.
It sucks so hard, but I can’t say I blame her, it’s a tough position to be in- she can’t win for losing. She wants both her daughter and me to be happy and if she let me move in with her even after my mother extended the olive branch…I can see how she feels like she’d be betraying her. If I still went through with the original plan, she’d fret about mother’s reaction to it. I just feel so ripped off- when my parents were kicking me out, it was all good, but as soon as they’re okay taking me back, if I buck against it, I’m suddenly the bad guy.
It’s true I’m grown up now and I can make decisions for myself about where I live, but I care about the rest of my relatives, and if I leave now, it’s going to test our relationship. I really don’t care that much about what my parents think, but my grandmother, my mother’s siblings and my cousins have been so supportive of me- despite all the tension with my parents, even though I expected them to take mother’s side- that I can’t lose their good opinion now.
I just need to sit tight, see how things resolve themselves and when it’s a bit calmer, then I can hopefully work out a plan for leaving my parents’ home. But there’s been so much hostility and unpleasantness that I don’t feel I can rock the boat right now. I’m definitely going to explore my options, though, and see if I can end up living somewhere else this year. I think it would definitely improve things between me and my parents if we’re not under the same roof. *eyeroll*
Your idea about ‘absence making the heart fonder’ is very appealing. At the moment, I’m spending half the week at Ma’s and the other half with my parents, so that’s helping a lot but I could do with longer.
I’m glad taking your leave from home helped ease the tension with your mother. I guess missing each other helps you remember why you love one another and to smooth things over once you’re back. It’s great that you two are close and that you’re happy being at home.
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Date: 2010-03-28 11:43 pm (UTC)It sucks so hard, but I can’t say I blame her, it’s a tough position to be in- she can’t win for losing. She wants both her daughter and me to be happy and if she let me move in with her even after my mother extended the olive branch…I can see how she feels like she’d be betraying her. If I still went through with the original plan, she’d fret about mother’s reaction to it. I just feel so ripped off- when my parents were kicking me out, it was all good, but as soon as they’re okay taking me back, if I buck against it, I’m suddenly the bad guy.
It’s true I’m grown up now and I can make decisions for myself about where I live, but I care about the rest of my relatives, and if I leave now, it’s going to test our relationship. I really don’t care that much about what my parents think, but my grandmother, my mother’s siblings and my cousins have been so supportive of me- despite all the tension with my parents, even though I expected them to take mother’s side- that I can’t lose their good opinion now.
I just need to sit tight, see how things resolve themselves and when it’s a bit calmer, then I can hopefully work out a plan for leaving my parents’ home. But there’s been so much hostility and unpleasantness that I don’t feel I can rock the boat right now. I’m definitely going to explore my options, though, and see if I can end up living somewhere else this year. I think it would definitely improve things between me and my parents if we’re not under the same roof. *eyeroll*
Your idea about ‘absence making the heart fonder’ is very appealing. At the moment, I’m spending half the week at Ma’s and the other half with my parents, so that’s helping a lot but I could do with longer.
I’m glad taking your leave from home helped ease the tension with your mother. I guess missing each other helps you remember why you love one another and to smooth things over once you’re back. It’s great that you two are close and that you’re happy being at home.