Random Movie Stuff

[marguerite_krux]

1. Saw Made of Honor last week. It exceeded my expectations, although that wasn’t hard to do, considering I went in there with none at all. I hated the set-up, cringed at the execution, wanted to stomp all over the predictable ending…but it was done with good grace and unexpected moments of real humor and the main characters were actually…not hard to like. They were quite charming and sympathetic figures, surprisingly, considering that McDreamy’s playing a total manwhore [he’s stereotyped now- DOOM].

The funniest part- which, sadly, probably wasn’t intended to be funny at all- was how Patrick Dempsey looked in the flashback opener. He was supposed to be in his twenties, and had so much makeup SLATHERED on that he looked like Joan Rivers. Seriously, it was the ‘after’ picture of a ‘surgeries gone wrong’ special, it was like some drunk cosmetic surgeon injected him with waaaay too much Botox. Ma was going, ‘His eyes are slanting up so much he looks Asian!’ Lol. FAIL. So that was great, heh.

My problem with rom-coms is that the characters always behave unrealistically- and mother mocks me by asking whether sci-fi is realistic, but my distinction is that the *situations* in sci-fi are unrealistic and farfetched but the characters behave like real people, whether they’re heroic or cowardly, villainous or virtuous, rational or irrational…the writers mostly keep them acting in accordance to the rules of some internal logic. Rom-coms? They’ll do whatever they can to get the easy laughs even if it’s stupid and unbelievable. And this was no different. I mean, the cousin, who dreamed of being the main chick’s maid of honor since she was 5, is so malicious that she gets revenge on the dude by sabotaging the bridal shower. How does that make sense? She loves Hannah, but to score points off Tom, she tricks him into hiring a sex toy seller to perform at the grand occasion to celebrate Hannah’s impending marriage and ruining the evening for her. Writers in this genre consistently sacrifice the characters to service the plot, and I don’t like it one bit.

I did enjoy the relationship between Tom and Hannah, how close they were without being romantically involved. The scenes of cute where they knew each other’s preferences without having to ask, stealing each other’s cake, going shopping together… I’m a sucker for friendship in tv and movies. And I did like the subtle psychology at work here. There’s a scene where Tom drags Hannah out to dance while trying to hide from this psycho stalker chick, and Hannah freezes up but then slowly, slowly relaxes in his arms and you can see her simultaneously reveling in the moment and fearing the fact that she’s enjoying it a bit too much because they’re friends and that’s all they can ever be, but just for a little while, this traitorous part of her wants to make-believe that they’re a couple in love…then he sighs with relief that stalker chick is gone and pulls away from her and she’s jarred back to reality and that look of fleeting sadness and loss is so moving. It makes the whole ‘returning from Scotland engaged’ thing a bit more poignant and believable, because I think it hits her that this is what the rest of her life is going to be- being the gal pal buffer between Tom and his millions of conquests, and if she’s stupidly falling for him, she’ll lose him and then she’ll have no one. So this cute rich titled guy romances her in Scotland, when she’s vulnerable after this epiphany, and she accepts because she can’t wait the rest of her life for scraps of Tom’s time, she needs to come first with someone and this guy fits the bill.

The awful thing is that I really like the Scottish dude and he’s absolutely perfect for her, for any woman, and it never makes sense to me why the women always pick the wrong guys who break their hearts. [MEREDITH] It’s not like she feels nothing for him, otherwise she wouldn’t be jumping him every other minute. Come ON, dude, he’s got millions, he’s royalty, and he’s good looking- what more could you want?! *facepalm*

There are so many poor-taste scenes scattered throughout the movie. WTF was with the whole ‘head bobbing suggestively in front of painting’s groin region’ intro to Hannah? NOBODY laughed. Then there’s the girl asking for sex and then vomiting [gags], the father negotiating for sex in his pre-nup just minutes before his marriage [groans], McDreamy in a mini-kilt…okay, that was kinda cute. But flashing his underwear was stupid. Oh, and the relentless face-sucking of the happy couple in front of him! I don’t care how much Hannah loves being engaged, there is no good excuse for the never-ending make-out session. Gross. If she’s best friends with him, you think she’d respect his right not to lose his appetite by watching her try to steal the dude’s tongue right out of his mouth.

But my favorite scene in the entire movie had to be the opener, with Tom dressed up as Bill Clinton and being mobbed by the ladies, dressed to a theme, ‘Monica…Monica…’ -living it up- ‘Monica, Monica…shit, Hillary!’ AHAHA! That was just funnier than it should’ve been.

2. The greatest thing is that I was trying to recruit everyone to see Iron Man, but it was for Amu’s birthday and he wanted to see it Gold Class with his girlfriend, hence Made of Honor [Miss Pettigrew’s not exactly a dude’s movie]. I was dejected at the time, but the next night, at Katherine’s birthday dinner, Jacob was all, ‘Yeah, I’m going to the movies afterwards…’ *pointed look* ‘…I’m going to look like a loser sitting there all by myself…’ HEE! So it worked out in the end. Though my stomach nearly exploded with my second jumbo popcorn in a 24 hour period, lol. We only got through half, but I always say it’s better to have too much than too little. Seriously, if I run out of snacks, I go NUTS and can’t concentrate on the rest of the movie because of cravings.

About 90% of the reviews I read for this movie rated it as awesome, a cut above other superhero movies and gave it 5 stars. Then there’s this one ridiculous review which snidely states that Robert Downey Jr is ‘old enough to have night-time incontinence problems’. I damn near choked on my Weet-bix at that. He’s like, what, forties? The hell?! Stupid prejudiced critic. That was such a bitchy thing to say. Dude was feeling real unprofessional because he totally revealed major spoilers, like Obadiah Stane was the baddie- yeah, some people probably saw it coming but we don’t find out the extent of his villainy for sure til the second half of the movie, so that breaks a few rules of movie critiquing, I’m sure.

I have to agree with this bit, though, on the Afghanis who took him prisoner to build them a WMD- ‘Dim chaps, they have trouble in telling the difference between something resembling a medieval suit of armor and a 21^st-century weapons delivery system’. SO TRUE. I mean, the boss barged in there, threatened to sear Stark’s buddy’s tongue out with a hot coal because he can tell it ain’t no missile launching thing and telling the two to stop mucking around and build him the damn Jericho already [is this a reference to the tv show where towns got nuked?]…after that, don’t you think he would keep an eye, or instruct his minions to do so, on their progress and whether they continue to work on the body armor or if they get down to business and do his dirty work? That has to be the weakest part of the script, but that said, compared to the Fantastic Four sequel, which was a mass of plotholes knotted together with lousy dialogue and lazy characterization…this merits an award.

The one thing I hate Iron Man for is that it’s forcing me to consider seeing the ‘reimagined’ Hulk movie out later this year. I was so against it from the very start- seeing the first one in 2003 taxed me more than I could imagine, and why would I put myself through it again? Then I read that Robert Downey Jr turns up in it as Iron Man…*headdesk* Now I MUST see it, ugh. Because the ending to this movie killed, it was such a tease of a cliffhanger- and yes, Jacob and I waited like TEN MINUTES through the credits to see the extra scene…which was just Snakes on a Plane dude offering him a spot on the superhero team. Whoop-de-doo. I was hoping for something more with Pepper and him. Not because I like her or anything, but their relationship was left unresolved and it’s pissing me off. So now I’m facing the thought of having to sit through damn Hulk again just to see if their relationship is mentioned.

Pepper seriously made me want to put my head through the wall. I hated Gwyneth Paltrow for so long, after being forced to study Shakespeare in Love in high school, but the Mills & Boon aspect to the movie with the whole secretary/boss angle was irresistible to me. And damn it all, but the movie lifted its romantic scene from one of the crappier romance novels, I swear.

I usually set down books where the couple are dancing around each other/actively hate each other for the first few chapters only to illogically and without warning- or any establishment of a new dynamic between them that would be conducive to romance- begin making out. I especially loathe books where they’re having a fight and the dude kisses her to shut her up- hello, sexual assault- and she finds herself responding despite 1. hating him and 2. being violently molested. The woman never has any self-control or dignity. The moral here, guys, is FORCE THE WOMAN TO RESPOND, SHE REALLY LIKES IT. Pfft.

Anyway, the Iron Man scene wasn’t that bad, but it was so so cringeworthy how easily Pepper succumbed. All these years as his assistant and in one evening, she finally decides to hit on him- except he totally doesn’t respond and bails on her, supposedly to get her a drink but then he DITCHES HER. *dies* It’s kinda…funny, I guess, because she’s so stupid she deserved it, but oh, gods, I’d just expire of humiliation in that situation. She was a decent character until then, I have no idea why they made her a bimbo. Pepper’s all professional, though doing cute banter on the side, and all of a sudden, she’s telling him people will get the wrong idea about them dancing together and then going out on the balcony alone, and it would be so wrong for them to do anything because she works for him and OH WTF KISS ME NOW STUD. Gods. One of the lamer pieces of characterization.

Otoh, I totally love her clickety-clicking with her towering high heels, followed by a team of armed security guys. I just adore the power trip nature of these scenes. Other examples include:

-Roslin in The One Where She Airlocks a Cylon. Just because he accused her boyfriend of being one of them, hee. Nobody slanders Bill in front of her and gets away with it!

-Weir in Condemned, with Lorne [LORNE!] and his team, where she totally pwns the lame-ass trying incompetently to hold her hostage. Cue Eyebrow of Doom. Seriously, how hot is this scene?

I so want my own security escort team, damn it. But I must master teh high heels first.

One thing I don’t get- why does this guy build his iron costume in his garage with all his precious cars? I know he’s rich, but aren’t cars like, surrogate children to collectors?

Also, the very first time he operates his new and improved suit at 10% thrust…he should’ve DIED from the impact against the wall. His head fully smashed into that concrete, no way a person survives that without a helmet, even with a helmet, your chances aren’t good!

Hmm, my favorite scene would be where he flies all the way back to the Middle East to take out these baddies terrorizing a village. It’s so awesome how he’s firing flames at them, then turns to find the rest have taken civilians hostage, and you think, ‘Crap, he can’t get them without harming the innocents too, is he going to have to surrender now?’ Then the little visor display switches on, identifies the terrorists/civilians in the line-up before neatly shooting the flagged baddies in a row. HEE! It’s so much more awesome because I thought his weapons were all massive-scale and he wasn’t equipped to handle individual battles, then it turns out he’s thought of everything!

3. Passion Fish turned up in my mail today! Who knew the post could be so efficient?! *glees* Damn it, why is my laptop not fixed yet so I can cap the prettiness? But still, NEW MARY FIX TRUMPS ALL CONCERNS.

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[sapphs.livejournal.com]

*glees*