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LOTS- ep 2:

PART TWO of Baneling



---

Slimy Irritating Dude: I need a horse.

 

Cara: *prays * Save me from dealing with idiot mundanes.

SID: I have to bury my brother.


C: We need the horses to get provisions. You can bury him outside with the others.

SID: I’m not burying my brother alongside the Daharans who killed him. He should be laid to rest beside our mother and father.


 

C: Do it quickly.

COMPASSION BY OSMOSIS! Kahlan’s healing love and empathy transmitted through a single gaze!

 

C: I’m so sorry for your loss.

*brain melts* OMG, she's EXTRA STUNNINGLY GORGEOUS from that angle!

Also. ROFL. :D I love that Cara was taking notes earlier and then trots it out in this attempt at emulating her style…priceless!

 

SID: Oookay, then? No ability to empathize, difficulty expressing emotions…are you a sociopath, by any chance?

---

 

MOM AND DAD ARE NOT AMUSED. 'What were you thinking?! You better have a good reason for this!'

 

C: A man came to the stables asking for a horse so he could take his brother to be buried.


K: We didn't raise you to go around giving horses to strangers! How could you be so gullible?!

C: The Confessor told me I had to show more compassion.

Clearly Cara is a daddy’s girl. She knows which parent will go easy on her! Wow, for a girl who grew up without a family, she sure knows how to deflect really well! I love the way she stares at Kahlan, realizes which the way the wind is blowing and decides to appeal to Richard instead, lol.

 

K: Are you saying this is my fault?

C: Yes.

AHAHA! *dies laughing*

 

Richard senses a catfight in the making. Dude, you do not want to get caught between the tussle of the alpha females...



K: I won't forget this. You're never borrowing my stuff again. Hope you enjoy the rat's nest on your head when I don't let you use my brush tomorrow morning.

C: It is a little known fact that the Mord'Sith are creative with revenge. See how you like it when you wake up and I've cut all your hair off.



R: *hastily interjects* Hold it, I like the way you both look! I can't travel with a pathetic-lookingharem, it'd destroy my rep!

 

*well-timed scream*

Heh, Cara intrudes between Richard and Kahlen. *smirks* Much subtler than an elbow to the gut, eh?

---

R: I need you to find the man who stole the Abbot’s locket.

 

C: *iz thrilled at a real mission at last* He can’t have gotten far.

 

R: Please don't hurt me for this, but- don't rough him up, 'mmkay? Bring him back alive.

 

C: Hmm. Alive doesn't preclude the possibility of a few accidents befalling him along the way. *smirks*

 

R: That went better than I expected. Why was I so terrified at telling Cara not to beat people up?

---

 

Cockblocker!Cara: Sorry to interrupt. I know you’re mourning the loss of your brother.

 

SID: We all grieve in our own way.

 

C: *not buying it* You make me look stupid in front of Kahlan. Be grateful I haven't stuffed your corpse in the same coffin as your 'brother'.

 

The ladies slink away. By the by, does the sight of a Mord’Sith not inspire ANY dread or terror? In ep 3, children run screaming at the sight of her and men aim weapons at her but nobody here bats an eyelash?

C: Where’s the treasure?

SID: I’m not afraid of you. Do you know what horrible things they did to me at [fantasy location]?

C: *waves agiel suggestively* Intimately.

 Why does she make the prospect of torture sound so enticing? Unless...what else does she do with that agiel? O.o


*attempts foolish bravado*

His teeth get bared more with each detail of torture. [Looks like a horse, actually]

But lookit him, the guy hardly looks like he’s been through hell. Why didn’t anyone mess up his face? I’d like to see him attract chicks with gruesome scars or missing an ear or two. And I bet if they threatened his pretty boy appeal, he’d’ve broken in a second.


SID: Torture me all you want. You’ll be wasting your time.

Me: PERMISSION, Cara, he INVITED you to do it! Go on, chop off a finger! He has seven more!

 

C: I’ll do things to you those women can’t even imagine.  Many know of a Mord’Sith’s ability to bring pain, but few know that we are equally skilled at bringing pleasure.


 

*iz irresistibly seductive*

Cara: But first, you need to tell me-

SID: In a cave, three leagues outside town, by the fork in the river.

*snorts* Don't believe the hype, the way to a man's heart is through his pants, apparently. 

 

C: Take me to it. Now.

Yay, dom!Cara has returned!


How sexy is it that she can fling a fully grown male around like that? Without even breaking a sweat! And I thought her lifting Kahlan was impressive. :D

---

 

R: *lost in gloomy thoughts*

Oh, no, teh woobie is angsting again! Good thing Cara brought him a present, wrapped up special!

C: Richard!

Is it just me or does she sound way Aussie there?

 

Ah, the traditional Mord’Sith Power Walk with Captive in Tow. Mmm, just when you think she can’t get any hotter.

*pictures Cara leading Kahlan*

*brain combusts at the hotness*

 

R: *entranced by the shiny* 

C: This is what you’re looking for.

 

I snickered at how Cara swung it away from him til she made her grand pronouncement and then she finally let him play with it. Lol. Like, ‘First, you will acknowledge my role in bringing this to you, damn it!’

SID: I’m not going anywhere with you.


R: *shrugs* Take him to Kahlan. Have her confess him.

C: *looks pleased*

 

Z: *iz a party pooper* No. We don’t know how the Confessor’s touch will affect the rune’s magic.



Cara and Richard: Shit!

Is she POUTING? Damn the crappy cap quality, but looks like it! Aww, poor woobies, they like Christmas has been canceled!


SID: I guess I’m not going anywhere. And this hand? Goes where I go.

 

C: Not if I cut it off.

Ahaha! Her gaze has the searing intensity to accomplish the de-handing in a second! And if Surgeon Cara is on the job, you can bet there will be no anesthetic involved, lol.

SID: When do we leave? 

See! I told you, threaten to chop bits off and he’ll co-operate! So much for not breaking on the funtime wheel of drowning. *snorts*


C: *yanks on rope*

HEE! She gets such a kick out of doing that. ^_^ I love a woman in control.

 

SID: *lives up to his nickname* You know, this would be a good place to live up to your bargain.

*gags* Honestly, I'm beginning to think that the torture injured him in the head. He must have serious brain-damage to think he ever had a chance with Cara.



*refuses to justify his stupidity with a response*


SID: Hey! HEY! HEEEEYYYY!

Bwahahah...

---

 

*Cara materializes out of nowhere*

R: But that hallway was just empty! How-? 

C: Our thief won’t be going anywhere without us.
 

R: You brought him back without a scratch, how’d you manage that?

 

C: *flirtatiously* I have other methods.

 

R: *looks intrigued* What kind of methods?

RICHARD! You’re a MARRIED MAN! Or…as good as, anyway! See, this is how you get the STD!Rash of DOOM.

 

Richard's brain: SYSTEM ERROR...REBOOTING...

Yes, best we halt that speculation right there. Lol. Kahlan would be so disappointed in you. Tsk, tsk.

R: Well, however you did it, it’s good work.

Aww, validation, yay! Paternal approval! :D

C: Did you expect anything less?

 

R: I’m just glad to have you on our side.

He really is very sweet!


C: Maybe you can tell Zedd and Kahlan they can stop sleeping with weapons under their pillows.

*snicker* No grass growing under her! I do so love her very much!

 

I’m so torn, you guys! I hate both these characters so much, I’m not sure whether to side with Psycho!chick or the Slimy Irritating Dude. But since she dies later on, I guess I’ll just enjoy him getting his comeuppance, heh.

 

It’s hilarious that upon hearing cries of agony, Richard immediately races off to the rescue- while Cara is unmoved. Lol.

Her face: What, the sound of someone suffering a mortal injury is unusual?


CSI: D'Hara! [Or wherever the hell they are, I suck at geography]
He just needs some sunnies to slip on and off dramatically. Then again, he can just whip out his sword for emphasis, I guess, complete with its own ringing steel sound effect. Take that, Horatio’s sunglasses!

C: He’s dead.

R: He was the key to the Stone of Tears.

*clicks tongue reprovingly* Oh, Richard, what a scolding Kahlan would have for you at not displaying the appropriate sorrow and compassion for this man’s death! How dare you speak of him as though his only worth lay in the rune on his hand? [Even though it’s true] No man is an island, yo, every man’s diminishes you! Act like it!

Still, I admire this new Richard. No wibbling over how ordering the guy to be taken hostage and locked up make you responsible for his death. None of the guilty self-flagellation at not preventing his death. Just a grim observation on what his death will cost the mission. I approve!

 

SID: Why am I naked? And surrounded by moaning, oiled bodies? More importantly, why are there no fawning women offering me sexual favors around? OH GOD, I *AM* IN HELL!

 

Hey, so Cara can bring anyone back from the dead? Well, that lowers the sense of jeopardy for the main cast, yay! I honestly don’t care at all, I know how some shows go on about how killing off a regular means that nobody is safe and it makes the audience tense and go ‘oh, anyone could be next’- why the frak is that a good thing? I like settling in to watch and knowing none of them are at risk.

SID: I thought I was dead.

 

C: I brought you back. Now your soul is MINE.

 

SID: *iz confuzzled* But- you don’t like me. You didn’t even perform those obscene sex acts on me. Oh, wait, is that why you brought me back? Is it?!

C: I can make you dead again.


K: *iz speechless in the face of Cara’s awesome*

C: HOW DO YOU LIKE ME NOW?

SID: I saw Darken Rahl.

[Guys, I don’t know how the frak to spell his name. For all I know, it’s Dark N’Rahl or something weird like that]

 

C: *iz perturbed*

 

R: *in CSI mode* Who stabbed you?

 

*gigglesnort* Yes, that would be more important than drilling him for tactical info on the villain threatening world domination?

---

C: The walls are strong. The banelings can’t get to us, they can’t kill and they’ll die again.

 

R: He’ll just send his men to find more victims and they’ll grow stronger out there while we grow weaker in here.

Oh, Richard! *pets* How mature and wise you have grown in a season! I approve!

By the way, does his shirt have buttons? Or did he rip them off so he could enthrall the womenfolk with his manly chest?

C: They won’t stop until they get in.

R: Well, if they want in, we’ll let them come.

Z: What about Kahlan and all the others?

Oh, Zedd. Acting like she needs to be protected like a fragile porcelain doll, really?

R: We’ll get them out the back way.

 

Z: This is a prison, there is no back way.

Me: Zedd! Are you a witch or aren’t you?! Dude, are you senile or what? There wasn’t a front way til you blasted the gate in!

R: [I can] make one.

It sounds like he says ‘I can’ but obviously it’s ‘then’, right?

---

 

SID: It’s a long road to Pomorrah [?]. Could get a little lonely.

Jeez! Slimeball's like that Ever Ready battery- never say die.


C: You’re right. It is…a long road…to Pomorrah.

 

I love that feral look in her eye as she gets off on hurting people! Hee!



*snorts* Phallic image, anyone?

 

C: And if you want to make it there in one piece, you won’t try my patience.

SID: The Seeker said you needed me alive.

 

C: Yes. But he didn’t say you had to be comfortable.

*gigglesnort* CARA WINS AT LIFE! <33333



---

(no subject)

Date: 2010-01-22 01:02 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] borg-princess.livejournal.com
Um excuse me, I did say "and many more", pfft. It's there now :D

Haha, I feel so powerful. *preens* Yes...'coz I got you to add one more item to your interests...that makes me feel accomplished. Okay, my life is exciting!

OMG BB ILU ILU for spamming me with book thoughts. You've no idea how long I've been waiting to squee about them, I HAVE NO-ONE ELSE :'(.

I WOULD LOVE TO EXCHANGE SPAMMY BOOK THOUGHTS WITH YOU! *SNUGGLEGLOMP*

My circadanian rythm is all kinds of fucked up from gobbling up these books.

Bwahaha, IKWYM.

just cos of the Cara/Rich and intro'ing Berdine/Raina.

But RAINAAAA. I already knew she died 'coz after you mentioned being scared that she wasn't in one of the later books, I wiki'd her and found out she died, so I knew it was coming. *sniffles* Didn't make it any easier to bear, but I'm glad I could prepare myself for that blow at least. Hally went out so early, though, it got me by surprise, I didn't expect her to bow out in such a teensy skirmish, grr!

I was like 'she better not die before Reggie makes it there or I will throw a fit! I will TRASH THIS LAPTOP IN A RAGE'.
LOL YOU'RE HILARIOUS.


No, honestly, there is a line that I draw with my angst- and it is that if a character is going to die, it must be with dignity and not be with stupid unresolved issues hanging over their head [which is why I hate JKR so frakking much for what she did to Snape...but that's a whole other thing and I will shut up now].

There was this Bollywood movie where the dude was dying, he drags himself to the gates to see his star-crossed love with whom he tragically cannot share a life now that he's BLEEDING TO DEATH, she hears he's arrived and runs out to meet him and be with him in his last moments...and he FRAKKING DIES ABOUT FIVE SECONDS BEFORE SHE REACHES HIM, WTF, WTF? GAAAAH!

So yes, there was a lot of tension as I was waiting for Reggie to appear.

Oh holy shit, I was freaking the hell out when I thought she was giving her virginity to Drefan...idek...I was kinda mad at her when she did it the 2nd time but I did understand why

IKR? I about died when I found out her first time was going to be with this guy, it KILLED ME WITH ANGST, omg. But I'm so happy the way that it worked out- okay, there was additional angst because of Richard feeling betrayed, but emotional angst of the relationship kind, I'm fine with- her sleeping with another guy against her will? Hell no.

And it was Cara that made the switch! I kinda wanted to smack myself for not realizing because of course, Kahlan made her SWEAR earlier that Nadine wouldn't get to be with Richard- I just thought it meant that Cara would kill her, lol, not this, it's so subtle and cunning, I love it!

No joke, I screamed when Drefan was violating her in the pit with Marlin, omg, I shouted WTF outloud. RAWR I get so angry when the men are all up on her or Kahlan. Back off bastards, seriously.

Lol! I remember our self-defense classes where we spent a whole lesson learning...how to SCREAM at our attackers. *nodnod* Because, IDK, they might get scared and run away. It was hilarious, we had to put our hand forward forcefully and yell, 'BACK OFF'. And someone passing by on the street heard us and called the cops, funniest thing ever, the school had to be like, 'Oh, no, it's fine, the girls are just learning how to respond if someone tries to rape them, it's all good'. *snorts*

But yeah, ugh, I got so squicked out at Drefan 'treating' Cara, and it was so awesome when Kahlan attacked him, lol. I mean, okay, it was unwarranted at that point, it was to help her, really, but still! Her need to protect Cara is so fierce!

(no subject)

Date: 2010-01-22 01:26 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] halfabubble.livejournal.com
A little birdy told me that Berdine and Raina will be in season 2 of LotS! :D And they're gonna be together and everything, how awesome. As if this show wasn't femslashy enough :D

And it was Cara that made the switch!
ikr! And then she was so sad when Kahlan didn't realize, and she was all "didn't you trust me?" aww *snuggles her*
tbh though I completely forgot that she promised Kahlan, and I didn't realize that she was still semi-sentient in her strange temple!possessed self. That was so sneaky of Goodkind! omg I loved it.

lol at the self-defence! At my school they just handed out rape alarms, they were cheap like that :|

I mean, okay, it was unwarranted at that point, it was to help her, really, but still!
Yes, but was it? Knowing what we know now about Drefan and his pervy weird shit with hookers. I wonder.

Her need to protect Cara is so fierce!
*wub* I loved all those beginning chapters when it was just the two of them. Badass!

(no subject)

Date: 2010-01-25 11:58 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] borg-princess.livejournal.com
OMG! OMGOMG! That's so amazing! *wriggles with glee* Can this show make me any happier? [Well, it could get rid of Leo- I know people are warming to him and he's good for Cara, but damn it, I watch for the OT3, not Cara/random dude *pouts*]

I don't know how they're going to mesh Berdine and Raina from the books with the show. Because they were with Cara and left to protect Richard, y/y? But on the show, her sister Mord'Sith beat her up and left her to die, so...HMM. Hopefully they're gonna say that B and R were at some other encampment and weren't around for the overthrowing of Cara's regime, otherwise...just as we got Cara and Kahlan's angsty tension sorted out, we're gonna have another mess....ack!

I didn't realize that she was still semi-sentient in her strange temple!possessed self.

Well, I figured she'd just kill Nadine, I totally underestimated her level of cunning...but as you say, she was possessed, how were we to know, let alone Kahlan?!

Rape alarms? Like, whistles or something? Well, that'd be more useful than just screaming, probably...

Knowing what we know now about Drefan and his pervy weird shit with hookers. I wonder.

God, the reviewers weren't kidding about his horrific treatment of women, I mean, pretty much everyone gets raped and tortured at some point, it's so gruesome! *shudders*

(no subject)

Date: 2010-01-26 12:08 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] halfabubble.livejournal.com
They'll probably make something up, it could be anything. B & R were otherwise engaged when that Mord-Sith drama went down, somewhere other than the People's Palace or wherever those baths were supposed to be. They'll write something convenient.

ikr, I want my OT3 back :( I don't like it that this Leo dude is making her giggle and not Rich or Kahlan *pouts*

The rape alarms were like, these little buttons that you'd press in an emergency and they'd give off the most piercing and loud alarm your ears can ever imagine :O To draw attention to you or something if you were being attacked, idk.

Well, it may be somewhat comforting to realize that despite the amount of times K is abused throughout the series, she only ever has done the actual deed with Richard :)

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