marguerite_krux: (Default)
[personal profile] marguerite_krux
Gosh, it was hard trying to think of items for the list that didn't include fandom. My life, so boring! 

Happy list of yayness

For the first time ever, I managed to have KFC three days in a row. My cousin, my mother and then my aunt/Ma shouted me. ^_^ Well, it’s not doing my health any favors, but my ‘diet’ makes me happy.

My psychologist. My first session last week went well. I turned up, intending it as a one-time only, but she convinced me to return for the next five government-funded sessions and I figured why the hell not? It’s not like I’m doing anything else with my life, right? And discussing my lack of direction atm and the utter failure I am is oddly comfortable when it’s to someone who’s paid to hear people whinge incessantly, I don’t feel bad when I know they’re getting compensated for putting up with me.

I was wary when she told me we were going to have a talk, because those never end well. But we ended up eating junk food in a park and having a lovely chat!

We talked about the family situation and while it was going well between us before, it’s even better now that we’ve officially sorted out that we’re okay with each other. I apologized, she told me something I’ve never heard before-‘it’s all about you’ [!]- and that she’s put what happened behind us because she just wants to help me find something to do and get to a good place in my life. I never wanted to have this talk because I was afraid that deep inside, she was still seething with anger and resentment but it happened and ended so much better than I had thought possible!

There was also much fandom-y conversation. A lot of times in the past, she’s dismissed my interest in tv because it’s pointless and won’t get me anywhere, but we were in that park for a few hours and half the convo was about different shows. Castle, Mentalist, even Dollhouse and A Very Potter Musical, lol. [I have the songs on my phone and played them for her]

She showed interest, she indulged my fangirly side and I had a fantastic time. Such a mama’s girl! 


Sucky list of suckitude

I broke a fingernail. :-[

I grow them out as long as possible- because I think they look cool that way...

...but when one inevitably breaks, then the rest of them need to be trimmed. And I hate how stumpy my fingers look with short nails!

Short being a relative term, I refuse to cut them at the same level or below than the length of my finger- I don't understand how people can have brutally short nails, it makes me wince. 

I shrieked and cowered no less than three times last night, shuddering and insisting that there was a mouse running loose in the house. My poor grandmother dutifully rose and beat around corners and under beds and in likely hidey-holes, but failed to turn up any hint of a rodent each time. It was completely embarrassing and yet I couldn’t suppress my squeals each time I saw a dark shape scuttling around, tail slithering behind it. *twitches*

I’m sure Ma thinks I’ve lost my mind, it undermines my claim to sanity, jumping at shadows but I know what I saw! What I think I saw…ugh.

I absolutely loved this fantasy novel, the name of which shall not be revealed in case I inadvertently spoil one of you, and was so into the series that I contemplated buying the next book [or harassing the library into buying it for me].

When I spied it in Borders, I figured I’d take a peek at the final chapter to see if the chick ends up with the guy I wanted- well, win/lose. MAJOR loss. While they do hook up, and she even becomes pregnant, the very last words are ominous: ‘And then he knew no more’. Um, WTF? This is how it ends?

It could be in the less-scary ‘and then he fell asleep and knew no more til the following day when he woke up in bed with the Love of His Life’, but…considering he was in a duel where he sustained numerous wounds…and also the way it reminds me of this craptastic scene: ‘And then Snape moved no more…’ Yeah, depressing. It sucks so hard it reaches back in time to retroactively ruin my enjoyment of the first book. *pouts*

Meme time:

Snurched from dragonladyk:
When you see this, post a poem to your own journal.

(a) Colours

When your face

appeared over my crumpled life

at first I understood

only the poverty of what I have.

Then its particular light

on woods, on rivers, on the sea,

became my beginning in the coloured world

in which I had not yet had my beginning. I am so

frightened, I am so frightened,

of the unexpected sunrise finishing,

of revelations

and tears and the excitement finishing.

I don't fight it, my love is this fear,

I nourish it who can nourish nothing,

love's slipshod watchman.

Fear hems me in.

I am conscious that these minutes are short

and that the colours in my eyes will vanish

when your face sets.

-Yevgeny Yevtushenko


The Marry/Shag/Throw off a cliff Meme:

From mw48.

Marry- Bill Weasley
I’ve googled him and can’t find one definitive picture of this character. The internet offers me a variety of choices, some attractive, some…not.

Still, out of a series of unappealing choices, this dude would be the best of the bunch, I suppose. He’s supposed to be charming, competent and caring, isn’t he? A hard-working dude who's still adventurous and glamorous, I'm all over it. Marriage to him would be a much better deal than to Ron or the Terrible Twins, ugh. *stabs them*

Shag- Draco Malfoy

Way too young for me, but he’s attractive, I’ll give him that much. Even if his character ended up being a disappointment. Can anyone tell me what he was even doing during DH? Was he at Hogwarts under the DE regime or what?

Throw off a cliff- Sirius Black

Oh, definitely off a cliff, chomped to bits by sharks and ground into kibble for the bottom-feeders. Loathe this guy so much. Why, YES, I’m holding a grudge on Snape’s behalf, what of it? I may be biased, but his general conduct doesn’t speak very highly of him- this dude endangers everyone’s lives on several occasions, and wtf, he even ATTACKS RON AND INJURES HIM but nobody gives a damn and holds him accountable because- what? Oh, JKR tells us he’s a good guy and they don’t get held to the same standards as villains. They can hex people and be rotten vindictive bullies who commit attempted murder using their supposed best friend as the weapon with absolutely no remorse, but oh no, they’re still Good Guys. But if someone JKR hates does the exact same thing or anything ten degrees below this, we’re supposed to judge them for it and delight at them nearly getting killed or scarred for life or something.

/rant. I’m going to stop myself there or I’ll never stop harping on about her childish black-and-white view of the world and absolute failure to grasp the complexities of human nature, along with her pathetic excuse for a moral compass and-

-oh, right, I was stopping. *lips zipped shut* 

From sunkrux.


I would definitely marry her! What does Ron have to offer her that I can’t?

Well, besides possessing magic and also seven years of history where they bonded through surviving numerous near-death moments and banded together to defeat an evil wizard [even if it was ridiculously contrived and they displayed all the ingenuity of a lobotomized patient due to the horrifyingly crappy writing talents of JKR].

Also, children. I don't know if that would be a deal-breaker or not. *coughs* 'coz I so do not plan on ever having kids, kthxbai.

But at least I wouldn’t constantly insult her as a form of, IDK, demonstrating affection or refuse to make a move on her yet react with vindictive jealousy and making her cry when she so much as looks at another love interest.

And I share her love of books and the library, so we’d have that to bond over. :P


Totally shagging him. >:D

Seriously, I know the majority of the population don’t understand his appeal, but he is just mesmerizing to me. I am utterly bewitched and ensnared and so into him, it’s crazy.

I’d marry him, I love him so much, but I think I’d irritate him. And my skin isn’t thick enough to weather all the inevitable barbs and criticism he’d hurl at me as I attempt to forge some sort of emotional connection. I leave that to hardier types, like Hermione. :P


Off the cliff! Look, this guy already literally fell off a cliff in the show and not only escaped unscathed, but with a really great hair-cut to boot!

From this:

To this:

Maybe the next dive off a cliff will also end up a blessing in disguise, like maybe Marguerite can drag him out this time, and they might get at least half an hour in private without a Momentus Interruptus.


TLW! *massive luff* It may have only lasted three seasons, but oh, there was an embarrassment of riches in regards to the ship. I had not lived til I saw my OTP taking a dip in a mud pool and then streaking through the jungle, lmao!

(no subject)

Date: 2010-04-21 01:23 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
I'm totally on the same page with you now, when you say how good it is to see a professional. It's just such a relief, and it's easier for me to talk to her in some ways because I know that it's her job and that she's there for me to unburden myself to, y'know? As lovely as you all are, and as much as I've leaned on you in the past, it's good not to feel guilty about being so emo and wibbling about things, because hey, that's what she gets paid to deal with!

OMG, I'm still not sure whether there WAS a rodent or not! The funny thing is, when I went to Netty's the next day, there was a dead rat/mouse [?] on her front porch and I was like, 'Hey, did Emmy travel up to Ma's place to kill it and bring it back as a prize?!' LOL.

my cat catches them....she's totally useful that way.

I need to keep a list of which flisters have a cat. I can't remember if I knew you had one or not...I went through this huge cat-loving phase; I had pictures, calendars, t-shirts and everything except the real deal. *sighs wistfully* Maybe one day, when I'm older and have my own place...

Lol, sorry for stirring up your cravings! I was so ecstatic! I had a whole bunch of eps on my laptop: Castle, LotS, and then watching Fringe on Foxtel with Ma so that was awesome. TV + junk food = HEAVEN!

I'm turning...22 this year. *flails* I'm so ooold! :P I'm just getting used to saying I'm 21 and remembering that and then I'll have to change...I always seem to near my birthday when I've finally gotten the hang of my age. *eyeroll*

I love your love of fandom, I really really do.

:D *hugglesquish*

(no subject)

Date: 2010-04-21 01:46 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
When you finally get the hang of your age? I adore you. I passed 22 a decade ago, it was good times least most of it.

I actually have two cats, Bella and Rafiki. We got Bella because Rafiki got too old to catch mice anymore but we werent going to put him out to pasture, he was still a beloved family member. A pain in the rump but a beloved family member, I keep reminding myself when he drives me crazy. But he is 15 so I cant blame him too much.

Therapy is the best thing that ever happened to me, seriously. I am able to just talk, and talk and work things out and I tell my therapist everything, even the crazy things that have happened here. Its all part of my life and she knows it all and 98% of the time I walk out of her office feeling lighter and better. I have gotten as far as I have because of seeing her. I'm down to once a month now, tomorrow will be my April visit.


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