'...there's such a fooled heart beating so fast, in search of new dreams, a love that will last...'

[marguerite_krux]

Just finished reading It's Elemental, My Dear Snape, an utterly brilliant SS/HG fic by cathedral carver. Perfection in five chapters. It's basically a list of the things I most love about this ship and the plot developments I most want to see all fused together and creating this one divine fic. At about 25, 000 words, it's over too soon- I'm greedy, I wish it was an epic!- but its sheer excellence keeps me from complaining. I just feel so giddy and breathless and squeeful! It's beautifully written, the prose is sparse but conveys so much all the same, and Snape and Hermione are just perfectly in character, and there is this tenuous bond and growing affection and then angst and heartbreak and- GUH. *heart explodes* An absolutely gorgeous ending. God, it makes me so happy!

---

*

He awoke to the sound of her voice. She was talking quietly, murmuring, but not to him. She sounded as if she was reading, or chanting.

“What are you doing?” he said into a darkness that didn’t seem nearly as frightening as before.

She immediately moved closer. Hands on his face, his neck, shoulders. He tried to lift an arm, to find her hand with his but she pushed it back gently.

“Please lie still. You need to lie still, Professor—” She stopped short and he heard the catch in her throat, the panic in her voice.

Professor?

“Who are you?” he said quietly.

“I’m…trying to help. That’s all. Please. Please.”

That voice. He knew that voice. He knew it. But if he was right, how…how could it be?

“Miss Granger?” he said tentatively, testing the name on his tongue, even though he knew the answer.

There was a long pause and he knew. He knew.

“Yes.”

“Ah.”

Angel. He’d called Hermione Granger an angel. And she’d let him. He was suddenly very, very glad he couldn’t see her face, or anything else for that matter.

There was a very long silence during which he tried, and failed, to picture the expression on her face at that moment.

“Professor?” she sounded worried.

“Why are you here?” he said finally.

“Because…I just am,” she said simply and he let it go because it was a fact and he needed her and there appeared to be no one else around, and what else could he do?

Then the fire roared again and nothing would quench the flames.

And so he burned.

*

“You need to drink this, professor,” she said. He felt a vial press against his lips.

“What is it?”

“It will help.”

“What is it?” he demanded.

“An…experiment.”

“If you think I’m going to consume some concoction thrown together by a mediocre potions student—” His voice caught in his throat and he started coughing. Pain flared.

“I’m…I’m doing the best I can—”

“It’s not good enough, clearly,” he hissed when the pain subsided and it felt good, it felt right to talk like that again. He was back in his classroom, he was teaching third-year potions, and the students trembled before him. It was before any of the other things had happened, before—

“Professor…please.” He heard the tremour in her voice, heard the plea, felt her fear, her fear for him, not of him, and he trembled before it.

He drank.

He slept.

*

---

Speaking of happy-making things, I think I've babbled enough before about cleolinda's epic Twilight recaps, y/y? I always wished there was an equivalent for Harry Potter, more specifically, for the epic fail of Deathly Hallows. And what do you know, I just discovered it! Daniel Hemmens wrote a really funny and insightful critique of the series: part 1, part 2, part 3 and part 4. Lots of intelligent analysis and giggle-inducing irritation at ridiculous things I hadn't even noticed before. [I was too busy being traumatized to pay such close attention]

Anyway, chapter one is called The Dark Lord Ascending although it should more properly be called "The Dark Lord Sitting In A Dining Room And Being A Bit Mean To The Malfoys But Basically Doing Nothing."

Fans of the series will of course be intimately familiar with scenes of Voldemort Doing Nothing. He's been at it for three books now. This chapter is particularly full of fine examples of the Dark Lord's sinister aptitude for inactivity.

In addition, because my life is always super amazing before everything goes to pieces, I found the Deathly Hallows Sporking Community. Win! Why on earth did I not search for this earlier?!

-

Then Harry brilliantly blurts:
“Is this it? Is this Sirius’s bike?”

*headdesk*

“The very same,” said Hagrid, beaming down at Harry. “An’ the last time yeh was on it, Harry, I could fit yeh in one hand!”

*headdesk*
If it wasn’t safe to talk in the garden when you landed, it’s not safe to give away who the real Harry is now. But does anyone notice this bit of stupidity and perhaps have all the Harrys mix together to confuse things? No.

“Hold tight now, Ron,” said Tonks…

*headdesk*

“Good luck, everyone,” shouted Moody. “See you all in about an hour at the Burrow.”

Oh my GOD! That’s it; the Order of the Phoenix is officially the worst secret organization. Ever.

x:x:x:x:x:x:x:x:x

And then, out of nowhere, out of nothing, they were surrounded. At least thirty hooded figures, suspended in midair, formed a vast circle in the midst of which the Order members had risen, oblivious –

A better description of the Order members, I have never heard. Did they forget to look up?

x:x:x:x:x:x:x:x:x

He could not understand where Voldemort had gone and expected him to swoop out of the darkness at any moment. Something hot and wet was trickling down his chin and from his forehead.

Yanno, JKR simply can't write an aftermath scene to save her life, she seems to miss the whole point of it. And if those two sentences are supposed to be related... then, ewww.

x:x:x:x:x:x:x:x:x

"Your wand's here, son," said Ted, tapping it on Harry's arm.

And Harry's arm turned into a white rabbit.

Now – taking the wand legend stuff at the end (which still has me confused) does that now mean that Ted is the rightful owner of the Wand of Destiny?

x:x:x:x:x:x:x:x:x

...they Portkey to the Burrow. Mrs Weasley asks if he's the real one.

"Yes, I'm Harry."

Sheesh how stupid are these people - is he going to say "mwahahahahahaha!!!! No, I'm not!"? But I'd have laughed if Harry had said "No." and had been stunned, at least.

Thank goodness you're all right," she said, pulling him into a hug

BUT IS HE HARRY? I can't tell you how much I was screaming at the book at this point. He turns to Ginny who also doesn't care if her ex is a Death Eater. She simply lists everyone who was in on the plot, as she also doesn't care about security. *headdesk *

-

I just about died laughing. I can almost forgive JKR for that immense suckitude just for the giggles I'm getting out of the sporkage now. *ponders* Actually, no, I still want to slap her for failing so hard. But I might be able to avoid kicking her while she's down. Might.

I mean, the woman has literally given me nightmares. I dreamt my parents were making me go camping for a few weeks. :O *iz aghast* Damn her and that Camping Trip from Hell, I swear, I was nearly sobbing when I woke up. 'But I can't leave civilization! Electricity! What about tv, what about my laptop? The INTERNET? How will I survive?!'
---

I’ve made the obvious Castle/Mentalist comparison before- straightlaced, tough-talking female cops teaming with roguishly charming and often infuriating, meddling civilian consultants. But when I watched Castle 2x13, I noticed a different similarity:

 

 

The search for who murdered their loved ones:

In Mentalist, the mythology eps are based on Jane’s hunt for vengeance against Red John- the theme is a little more blatantly explored in the series, even in RJ!less eps, through Jane questioning killers to see if getting revenge made any difference to them at all. Quite clever, because it shows us that RJ is never far from his thoughts, even in cases with no relation to him at all. Just off the top of my head, we have Jane discussing the topic of murder in the name of revenge in Flame Red-

Jane: We never discussed this because I thought it went without saying, but when I catch Red John, I'm gonna cut him open and watch him die slowly like he did with my wife and child. Now if you have a problem with that, we should talk.
Lisbon: Then let's talk. Because when we catch Red John, we are going to take him into custody and he's going to be tried in a court of law.
Jane: Not if I'm still breathing.
Lisbon: If you try and do violence to him, I will try and stop you. If you succeed in doing violence to him, I will arrest you.

Jane: I confess, I never did get to the end of [Moby Dick]. Ahab does die, doesn't he?
Tommy: Yes. But so does the whale.
Jane: That's my point, reveng doesn't come cheap.
Tommy: Oh, spare me your moralizing. I know what revenge costs, it's worth the price...those animals deserved what they got, it was justice.

…and Scarlett Fever-

Jane: Does it feel better?
Heather: [crying] It doesn’t change a thing.

It's just a little chilling, because you know Jane is asking for personal reasons- he's picturing killing Red John in his head, and he's using the criminals they catch to try and anticipate what he'll feel like, what he'll go through afterwards.

In Castle, Beckett’s mom’s murder wasn’t made known to us from the start. We knew she had some undefined tragedy in her past, but her damage wasn’t shown at the beginning, like Jane, which is why I didn’t really make the connection til now. [Shh, I’m kinda slow that way]

I think the show’s starting to go the Mentalist route of creating an ever-expanding conspiracy that encompasses many characters in its web [much like Life]. Before, most of the episodes were self-contained, but now it’s getting an arc of its own with seeds of a larger sub-plot sown into a few different eps.

Jane kills the sheriff to save Lisbon.





Beckett kills the assassin to save Castle.

The way that Jane finds people linked to Red John only to have them die on him...



...is reminiscent of this ep where she finds her mother’s killer, only to have him die on her before she can find out who hired him.

 The 'oh crap, I was responsible for screwing up my partner's chance at resolving the tragedy that's been haunting them for years' expression.




'Now I am to blame for their wrenching, soul-deep pain.' *woobie!face*

Aftermath:

Instead of weird metaphors involving solitude and oranges [I still don’t get the symbolism there- sadly, my theory that the titles in the second season would be based on the color orange didn't eventuate]...



...we have Beckett and Castle eating Thai. Accompanied by squeeworthy shippy dialogue! Aww!

 

Castle: I overstepped. I came down here to say that I’m sorry- and that I’m through. I can’t shadow you anymore. If it wasn’t for me-

 

Beckett: If it wasn’t for you, I would have never found my mom’s killer. And someday soon, I’m going to find the sons of bitches who had [Koonan?] kill her.



Beckett: [looking all soft and dreamy] And I’d like you around when I do. And if you tell anyone what I’m about to say, there’s going to be another shooting, but- I’ve gotten used to you pulling my pigtails. I have a hard job, Castle, and having you around makes it…a little more fun.

*dies of shipper glee* This is the most open and emotionally intimate they've been! I mean, usually she plays the resigned, long-suffering detective card to hide the fact that she truly enjoys his company, and now she's laying her cards on the table? AWESOME.




*flails* There better be a whole lot of animated icons of this scene! <33333



[Hee. Why that makes me think of Lady and the Tramp, I don't know]

---

Meme:

30 Day meme: snurched from labrt2004
Day 05 → Your favourite quote.

In general? Um...I admit, I fail at memorizing pithy quotes that I can trot out when appropriate, I so wish I was that kind of person. *sighs* Hmm, I think I'll go with Emily's quote from Minimal Loss, 'Reason is not automatic. Those who ignore it cannot be conquered by it...'

Oh, and Rossi's from Masterpiece: 'Let us consider that we are all insane. It will explain us to each other, it will unriddle many riddles...'

Plus, Hotch's from House on Fire: 'I have loved to the point of madness; that which is called madness, that which to me is the only sensible way to love...'

I really admire whoever it is on the CM staff that unearths these gems for each ep. ^_^
 

Who is your Harry Potter Mate Your Result: Severus Snape   You like your mate with a dry wit and a sharp tounge. You do not mind the emotional baggage that comes with him. You may have to drag him kicking and screaming from the potion lab, but once his love is given, it will never waiver.
Lord Voldemort
Ronald Weasley
Remus Lupin
Harry Potter
Albus Dumbledore
Lucius Malfoy
Draco Malfoy
Who is your Harry Potter Mate Quiz Created on GoToQuiz

OMG, Voldemort comes in second place? But I think I'm more horrified that RON is at third. *headdesk*
---

Vidspam:

God, this clip amuses me so much. It's so random! I don't get what the plot's about, I don't think there IS any real story behind it except 'let Alan Rickman stroke and caress my body and make millions of fangirls explode with jealousy'. Lol. It's actually a little creepy...no, scratch that, a lot creepy. *g*

Comments

[halfabubble.livejournal.com]

Who is your Harry Potter Mate Your Result: Remus Lupin   You like a nice, quiet mate with a little wildness hidden away. A true gentleman, he will not take advantage, you will have to take the first step. Very loyal, but very shy, it will be hard to win him over, but once you have mated, it will be for life.
Albus Dumbledore
Harry Potter
Severus Snape
Ronald Weasley
Lord Voldemort
Lucius Malfoy
Draco Malfoy
Who is your Harry Potter Mate Quiz Created on GoToQuiz

Dumbledore is 2nd, FML :(

You're totally right about the Beckett/Jane parallels! Good catch.
I loved that scene at the end of Sucker Punch :')

[borg-princess.livejournal.com]

REMUS! Ha! Is that a good thing or bad in your book? I think he was the least objectionable of the Marauders, and at least gave a damn about the kids, even if he was character assassinated heaps. Forgetting to take the potion that keeps you sane and able to resist the urge to tear helpless students apart? *thwacks him*

:O Honestly, I prefer Voldemort to Dumbledore. NO, REALLY. *casts Cruciatus on Dumbledore and cackles gleefully*

You're totally right about the Beckett/Jane parallels! Good catch.
I loved that scene at the end of Sucker Punch :')

*preens* Why, thank you! I was afraid it was really lame and obvious and people would be all, 'Why, yes, dear, didn't you realize that before?' But it wasn't til she was near-sobbing over his body that it hit me!

O. M. G. I love the Castle writers so damn much! They've got a perfect track record so far! *hugs them all* Even the cliches they handle with grace and competence, and the way the relationship's developing right now... *heart explodes* So awesome!

[azarsuerte.livejournal.com]

Oops. Meant to reply to the main post, not your comment. Sorry. :-)

[weird-fin.livejournal.com]

heh, I don't think I want to post my result... lol *shifty eyes*

Ooh interesting, makes me wish I had more Castle right now!
I've seen that Texas vid its funny and hot and guhh.

Oh, I might take a looksie at that fic rec...

[borg-princess.livejournal.com]

*raises eyebrow* Really? OOH. *iz intrigued* Tease! How you torment me so!

I know, what's with the hold-up? I've been checking the links comm and the new ep didn't come up til today. *frowns* Must've been a public holiday or sports match or something to delay it, grr.

Don't get me wrong, Alan Rickman!fix FTW. But the way he's just- controlling her, holding her in place and like, petting her, it's...hmm. Interesting. I've been reading too many D/s fics, I think, lol. My mind goes to strange places.

Yay! Hope you enjoy it!

[luxuria-oceanus.livejournal.com]

LOL!!!!!

Do note, I read nothing above the video because:

1. I've yet to watch "The Mentalist" (and I do not want spoilers).
2. I'm kind of sleepy.

Now, on to the video O.O WOW. ALAN RICKMAN. I'd say "REOW" if I wasn't feeling the whole "Umm, why do I feel like I should be covering my eyes or cringing?"

LOL And, umm, am I the only one who thinks that the pace of the song doesn't go that well with the story development of the video...? I mean, I'm no video expert, but it was just a thought. Still, cute song, hilarious, awkward, touchy-touchy moments, and to think... she let him go!? WHAT THE HELL WAS SHE THINKING?!

Also? STOP LURING ME INTO HERMIONE/SNAPE FICS, YOU CRAZY WOMAN!

[borg-princess.livejournal.com]

*sighs* I had this whole spiel about fake spoilers I was going to offload on you- before I realized that even mentioning a certain character might constitute a spoiler in itself, so I reluctantly forced myself to behave. RELUCTANTLY.

I'd say "REOW" if I wasn't feeling the whole "Umm, why do I feel like I should be covering my eyes or cringing?"

hilarious, awkward, touchy-touchy moments,

IKR?! That sums up my reaction exactly! On the one hand, so hot! Otoh, it's like we're peeping into someone's head and viewing their secret fantasy- so disturbing!

Also, how much do I have to pay him to run his hands over my body like that?

That song was secondary to the video. It didn't even register for me at all, lol. She was eclipsed by Alan Rickman, so, um, bad move on her part, lol.

she let him go!? WHAT THE HELL WAS SHE THINKING?!

*cuffs woman over the head and then runs after Alan Rickman*
If she's too slow, there are a million other fangirls willing to give chase!

it's just funny to see him doing something so...commercial. I know a ton of actors who appear in music vids and it makes sense, but him? Huh.

HEE. Take the bait, bb! YOU KNOW YOU WANT TO. *cackles evilly*

[labrt2004.livejournal.com]

That's labrt2004 to you, my dear, not labrt2005 ;-)

It's okay, I forgive you, however, because you're full of win, as usual!

[borg-princess.livejournal.com]

*winces* Fixed! Sorry, bb, of course I didn't forget your name, it was just a stupid typo. LJ gets screwy with my posts if I use the 'lj friend' function, so I avoid it, which leaves me open to embarrassing mistakes like that. *facepalm*

[mw48.livejournal.com]

Thanks for the rec - will totally hit that up later, I think!

The camping trip did suck and Voldy does do an awful lot of nothing. Agreed. :)

I have noticed this before - but you always do the most epic posts. LOL. Probably better than my 'whenever-something-is-on-my-mind' habit!

xx

[borg-princess.livejournal.com]

Oh, good, I hope you enjoy it! The minimalist style of the writing caught me off-guard at first [I'm used to densely layered sentences] but it really grew on me and there was so much unsaid that was conveyed so expertly. It really is such a gorgeous fic. *sighs blissfully*

I'm up to the the sporking of the camp trip, and there's just SO MUCH FAIL that it baffles me how JKR ever got this book printed. Too bad her fame went to her head, because by god, this needed serious editing.

Like, why was it necessary for the kids to starve in the forest? First of all, they could've just accio'd a rabbit or something, instead of living off MUSHROOMS. And if they were so good at these disguises, what stopped them from going to buy food at some Muggle store? It's not like DEs were lying in wait at EVERY SUPERMARKET.

you always do the most epic posts

:D Thanks, hon! *huggles you*

Probably better than my 'whenever-something-is-on-my-mind' habit!

Oh, no, I wish I could be like you guys, just posting on a whim! But instead, I am compulsive about spending hours gathering fandom info, pictures, quizzes and whatnot. I just can't make myself do simple posts, argh! The time-suck is incredible, I just don't know how I spend all day on these things. *facepalm*

[woodchoc-magnum.livejournal.com]

Fly by comment to say MY GOD the woman from Castle is GORGEOUS.

*zooms away*

[borg-princess.livejournal.com]

*dies laughing at your icon* OY. No call for such personal comments. :P

And I KNOOOOWWWW. I noticed in the close-ups that she's got crow's feet happening, but it doesn't take away from her beauty at all.

[Thank god she got rid of the weird pseudo!mullet thiing that was happening, though, THAT bothered me]

[borg-princess.livejournal.com]

Lol. I have this image of you literally flying off, all Superman-like. Or Voldemort-like, since he can fly, unaided by a broom, despite JKR saying it was impossible. And he taught Snape how to do it as well! Isn't he absolutely awesome for a paranoid psychopathic mega-villain? How generous! [I refuse to watch DH, but I do hope people will post clips of flying!Voldie on youtube, I need the giggles]

Anyway. Back on track. I wanted to ask you about CM- Mother and Ma both said how OOC it was for Hotch to fall apart [by his standards] in front of the criminal when they were at the prison in Outfoxed. He was visibly panicky and getting upset, totally giving the other dude power and vindication, y/y?

Well, knowing what was coming up with Haley, I figured he realized that the whole prison thing was a distraction orchestrated by Foyet and Hotch was panicking because he thought Foyet was off planning to attack his family. But then- in the next ep, he doesn't even call Hayley or check up on her or anything til it's too late. So where was he striding off to so purposefully at the end of Outfoxed? Why was he all worked up if he didn't think it was a threat to Hayley and Jack?

[spence-reid.livejournal.com]

Any post with Nathan Fillion pics is a good one. : P Camping is actually fun!! As long as you don't do the whole, "I'm going to sleep on the ground and hunt squirrels for food" thing.
Oh, and

Who is your Harry Potter Mate Your Result: Remus Lupin   You like a nice, quiet mate with a little wildness hidden away. A true gentleman, he will not take advantage, you will have to take the first step. Very loyal, but very shy, it will be hard to win him over, but once you have mated, it will be for life.
Harry Potter
Ronald Weasley
Albus Dumbledore
Severus Snape
Lord Voldemort
Draco Malfoy
Lucius Malfoy
Who is your Harry Potter Mate Quiz Created on GoToQuiz

[borg-princess.livejournal.com]

Haha! Agreed! You know, some mean people were saying he looks *gasp* flabby in the second season. I don't see it! So, yes, he doesn't have the sharp pointy face that anorexic people have, no call for mean comments like that. *hugs him protectively*

Camping...*shudders* I remember going on school camp. Most AWFUL experience ever. The tortuous bike ride up multiple steep hills...*whimpers* And of course, us girls all got our periods while we were out there, SO UNCOOL. At least it got me out of swimming, though. *sigh of relief* Me, in swimming suits? HAYUL NO.

"I'm going to sleep on the ground and hunt squirrels for food"

Bwahaha, in DH, it was gathering wild mushrooms and transfiguring moldy bread. Why nobody accio'd real food from somewhere, I'll never know. What a cool spell, you could steal ANYTHING with that!

Lupin. *sighs* One of the many people suffering character assassinations in DH. I feel bad for the Lupin/Tonks crowd, JKR took vicious pleasure in shooting that down.

[highonstargate.livejournal.com]

You know, I never grasp the meaning of the oranges either! I did have a theory about the colour though. Did you know that all of the titles of the episodes had red or a variation there of? I thought that they would use the colour orange in the second season, but sadly my theory fell through. :(

I did see a similarity between Castle and The Mentalist. But not enough to be that deep! :O

And that scene at the end of "Sucker Punch" is like one of my favorite scenes ever, after the restaurant scene in "The Third Man". Gotta love those two!

I like to compare Castle as a mix of Mentalist and Bones. I'm I correct?

(So I just started Castle a week ago, Shh!)

Who is your Harry Potter Mate Your Result: Remus Lupin   You like a nice, quiet mate with a little wildness hidden away. A true gentleman, he will not take advantage, you will have to take the first step. Very loyal, but very shy, it will be hard to win him over, but once you have mated, it will be for life.
Ronald Weasley
Albus Dumbledore
Harry Potter
Severus Snape
Draco Malfoy
Lucius Malfoy
Lord Voldemort
Who is your Harry Potter Mate Quiz Created on GoToQuiz

At least Harry isn't the first in line. And Dumbledore???

[borg-princess.livejournal.com]

I thought that they would use the colour orange in the second season, but sadly my theory fell through. :(

:O OMG! WE SHARE A BRAIN!
http://borg-princess.livejournal.com/66156.html

It would've been epic if we were right. Too bad. *sighs*

that scene at the end of "Sucker Punch" is like one of my favorite scenes ever, after the restaurant scene in "The Third Man".

You just started watching a week ago and you're already up to these eps? Boy, you marathon fast! *pets* I think I'd rate this ep over Third Man. I LOVE the latter, don't get me wrong, it's an awesome ep- but the show pressing Beckett's buttons over her mom's death? That wins, in my book. I love it when we get to see her be vulnerable, aww. Plus, Castle calling her Kate! *shipper heart flutters*

I like to compare Castle as a mix of Mentalist and Bones.

Hmm. Elaborate? I don't get the Bones reference. Both Castle and Beckett are way more socialized and pop-savvy than Brennan, for one thing...there's none of the lab geeking, for another...hmm. Sorry, bb, I'm not seeing it...enlighten me?

Jeez! What's with everybody scored REMUS LUPIN? There's a little club of you, now. Huh.

At least Harry isn't the first in line.

Amen.
But lol @ Dumbledore!

[kat-rowe.livejournal.com]

Say it with me now: What the fuck?

*DIES* funniest summary of a Potter novel EVAH!!! (although, seriously, why the hating on D&D players?) I used to be just annoyed by "Deathly Hallows" now I'm actually offended by it as well. Yee fracking gods, I thought it just sucked and was lazy but damn does that writer make some good points

*dies more of the sporkage* stop making me laugh when my asthma's acting up or Will's going to have to show up and revive me and we know his track-record on that front!!! *giggles helplessly*

you're right about the Castle/Mentalist comparison. Very cool

*dies of semi-shippy squee*

Who is your Harry Potter Mate Your Result: Remus Lupin   You like a nice, quiet mate with a little wildness hidden away. A true gentleman, he will not take advantage, you will have to take the first step. Very loyal, but very shy, it will be hard to win him over, but once you have mated, it will be for life.
Severus Snape
Harry Potter
Ronald Weasley
Albus Dumbledore
Lord Voldemort
Draco Malfoy
Lucius Malfoy
Who is your Harry Potter Mate Quiz Created on GoToQuiz

Don't mind the first two but the next three? *shudders and gags*

that IS a lot of touchy-feeling *iz jealous*

[borg-princess.livejournal.com]

*DIES* funniest summary of a Potter novel EVAH!!!

Hee! *bounces* Glad you enjoyed the sporking.Some people get all aggro like 'why are you reading if you don't like the series, there's no need to be mean to JKR, she's a a millionaire, you can't criticize til you publish a best-selling series' blah blah blah. But I was severely traumatized by that godawful book, and the sporkage is just really good therapy. I can LAUGH at things that sent me into a blind rage before.

And the lame-ass death sequence that Snape got...well, I'm not over it, by any means, but I can focus on how stupid and unnecessary it was- I mean, if he was the master of the Elder Wand and Nagini kills him...doesn't NAGINI become the new master, not Voldemort?! O.o

I'm reading the more lengthy, in-depth spork (http://community.livejournal.com/deadlyhollow/5080.html#cutid1)on the comm and I just shake my head helplessly at JKR's epic fail.

Then a ghost made of dust appears from the carpet. We get another run-on sentence for this:

Something shifted in the shadows at the end of the hall, and before any of them could say another word, a figure had risen up out of the carpet, tall, dust-colored, and terrible; Hermione screamed and so did Mrs. Black, her curtains flying open; the gray figure was gliding toward them, faster and faster, its waist-length hair and beard streaming behind it, its face sunken, fleshless, with empty eye sockets: horribly familiar, dreadfully altered, it raised a wasted arm, pointing at Harry.

It's probably some measure of how indifferent I am to Dumbles that I had to reread this passage at least five times before I figured that it was supposed to be Dumbledore. But then, I cheered when he died. And I would not be intimidated by a dust ghost. Especially if I'd spent six years at a school filled with real ones.

I believe that Rowling was thinking in terms of CGI for the Deathly Hallows movie.

“No!” Harry shouted, and though he had raised his wand no spell occurred to him.

[*snorts* Some hero he is. All this 'he drew his wand instinctively, though he had no clue what the hell to do with it' makes him look stupid and incompetent, JKR, did you realize that?]

Finite Incantatem sounds like a good idea. Anyway, Harry screams that they didn't kill the figure.

On the word kill, the figure exploded in a great cloud of dust: Coughing, his eyes watering, Harry looked around to see Hermione crouched on the floor by the door with her arms over her head, and Ron, who was shaking from head to foot, patting her clumsily on the shoulder and saying, “It’s all r-right. . . . It’s g-gone. . . .”

The three of you have faced three-headed dogs, carnivorous giant spiders, basilisks, Dementors, escaped convicts, fire-breathing dragons, hostile Merpeople, Umbridge, belligerent centaurs, Death Eaters, and, let us not forget, Voldemort. And you're scared of animated dust?

The words "Bitch, please" spring to mind.

Harry shuts up Mrs. Black's portrait as Hermione whines.

“That . . . that was . . . “ Hermione whimpered, as Ron helped her to her feet.

WHAT THE FRAK IS JKR DOING TO MY GIRL? *clutches head in agony* DIAF, seriously. Freezing in terror in front of a troll at 12 is one thing, but she was hunting basilisks and running after convicts and werewolves a year or so later, I mean, COME ON. Cowering on the floor and whimpering...just... *rage!splodes*

stop making me laugh when my asthma's acting up or Will's going to have to show up and revive me and we know his track-record on that front!!!

Don't worry, I'll kick his butt into action. If he wants to avoid more whumpage, he'll help you out. ;D

[fairest1.livejournal.com]

Interesting thoughts on Castle and the Mentalist. . . though I'll admit that I dropped the Mentalist after getting annoyed with it one too many times. The wiccan death spells, for one, but then the idiotic bit with the key -- I'd read the exact same thing in a book when I was twelve. In it, the kid who tried it picked it up in a book he'd read on how to be a spy when trying to escape from a closet the bad guy locked him in. He failed in this as the bad guy had also read the book when HE was a kid and grabbed the key before he pulled the newspaper through.

[borg-princess.livejournal.com]

'll admit that I dropped the Mentalist after getting annoyed with it one too many times

I hate to say it, but I feel the same. If it weren't for the fact that it got increasingly shippy in the second season, I don't know that I'd still be watching. It's more out of a sense of duty, because I used to love it so much, rather than because I'm so in love that I absolutely HAVE to watch it.

Re: the key. My mother and I immediately went ENID BLYTON at that. I read about it in the Five Find-Outers and Dog aka the Mystery Series. *eyeroll* I've been trying to pull that trick off for years, but it's nearly impossible, doors aren't raised that high in most houses. I call BS.

He failed in this as the bad guy had also read the book when HE was a kid and grabbed the key before he pulled the newspaper through.

That's hilarious! *gigglefit*

At least Castle is still fresh and exciting and even if it dabbles with cliches [exes, dating other people, etc. etc.], it always does it from a new angle that doesn't insult the characters or infuriate shippers, which is an incredible achievement. I thought I'd hate her FBI ex and that kiss, but it was written so well that I couldn't fault it. And I was leery of the ep where they both go on dates but it was hilarious and played out amazingly.

[liz-love.livejournal.com]

Oh yeah! I totally had the same thoughts about The Mentalist & Castle.
The only thing was that I knew Beckett would kill the guy, the show is more open. Jane was a complete surprise though.
Actually, I still don't know what is worse: someone killing your family because you made fun of him/her or someone hating your mother enough to pay 100 000 for her murder. It's all very creepy.

Ah, btw, want to know my thoughts about Jane and the tree? I think they meant the 'tree of life'. Because Jane chose Lisbon's life even though he denied earlier that he would. Even if it's not his own, it still has to mean something right?

[borg-princess.livejournal.com]

Good point, there. I just found it funny that the guy used 'I know who wanted to kill your mother' as a bargaining chip. Like, wouldn't the fact that HE HAS A GUN TO CASTLE'S HEAD be a greater advantage? And bossman holding a gun on him...saying he can't let him go...I got the impression from that that he was being like, 'Sorry, I know how much it would mean to you to find out who killed your mom, but we can't let this psycho go just to satisfy your curiosity'. Castle's predicament didn't seem to factor in that much! 'coz if his life's being threatened, don't you, IDK, try hostage negotiation or let them go and follow? Rather than just stand there and practically DARE the guy to kill him? Lol.

The only thing was that I knew Beckett would kill the guy, the show is more open. Jane was a complete surprise though.

IDK. I thought it was weak that Roy had his gun on the dude already, yet Beckett was able to draw, aim and fire in a second while he couldn't get off a shot. I know why they did it, to make it more poignant, that she killed her only lead for Castle, but come on...fail, Roy!

I hear ya on Jane. But he grew up traveling in a carnival circuit, right? He probably learned how to shoot on those games where you kill the ducks for a prize or something. :P

I still don't know what is worse: someone killing your family because you made fun of him/her or someone hating your mother enough to pay 100 000 for her murder.

Ooh. I hadn't thought of it in those terms, whoaaa...'k, I think- the former is worse, because it's so senseless. But in terms of morality, the latter is worse, because that person made a cold, calculated decision to kill her, whereas RJ's just a messed up psychopath. I don't know how to make that clear, but...someone killing another person to keep them quiet or something, a sane person making that horrible decision, is worse than someone who's sick in the head and cutting up people for fun. Or something...*ponders*

I think they meant the 'tree of life'. Because Jane chose Lisbon's life even though he denied earlier that he would.

Tree of life. Religious concept, is it? *iz ignorant*

And ILU. That's what I was thinking- even though it was HIS life he was talking about earlier, when it came down to the line and HER life was hanging in the balance, he chose life in the end.

That thing right there moves me so much. I actually wrote a fic that peripherally dealt with it [self-pimping! (http://www.fanfiction.net/s/5122729/1/The_Strangest_of_Inventions)].

[azarsuerte.livejournal.com]

Interesting comparison. But from what little I saw of The Mentalist, to me the most striking comparison is the contrast between the two: that Beckett eventually put her tragedy behind her and moved on. And didn't *want* it to get dredged back up and drag her back down. That said, when it did? I think she managed to kick start her determination to find the killer *without* falling back into that pattern of obsession. And that's awesome.

Honestly, I think The Mentalist lost me when Jane went home to sleep on a mattress in the room where his family was murdered with the bloody smile still there on the wall. I can understand *why* the character would torture himself like that if he felt responsible, but that still didn't mean I wanted to torture *myself* with it. :-(

[borg-princess.livejournal.com]

WOW. Way to take my shallow analysis to a whole new level of depth and insight. I really like that contrast of their reactions and behavior patterns. Beckett really is the stronger, more healthy character, isn't she? Jane's just focused on revenge, and helping other people along the way is a means to an end, whereas she's focused on making people's lives better, and when her mom's case comes up again, she manages to stay sane and avoid falling into the old trap again. That's really praiseworthy and I hadn't even thought of that.

Jane went home to sleep on a mattress in the room where his family was murdered with the bloody smile still there on the wall.

That...well, it worked for the character in the sense that we can see how he just refuses to let go and to heal, that he deliberately inflicts that pain on himself over and over. It's so masochistic, huh?

But it doesn't speak well for his colleagues. Does NOBODY realize that Jane's still living in his old house? Hasn't anyone wondered whether that's healthy or not? I really want to read a fic where Lisbon or someone ends up at his place [maybe after he goes missing mysteriously?] and wanders into his room, then is transfixed in horror at that gory smiley face above his mattress. Because you cannot look at him the same way after that. *shudders*

PS. Love your icon!

[cathedralcarver.livejournal.com]

You know what? I was having a really crappy day, and then I found this, not only your oh-so-lovely review, but your wit and your quiz and your spork and Alan Rickman freaking cradling the head of whoever that is, and I got all weepy again, but in a good way for a change.

So, thank you. Really. You're the kind of person I like writing for.

<3

[borg-princess.livejournal.com]

:D

First, I want to beam because just reading your comment makes me feel good about myself! Yay! *bounces*

And then I want to *headdesk* because I feel guilty for not actually leaving you a proper review on ff.net and relying on- fate? a mutual friend? random googling?- to direct you here. However it happened, I'm glad you did end up here, because you need at least a million people to tell you how awesome you are before it's even halfway approaching the amount of praise and adulation you deserve. *nodnod*

Alan Rickman freaking cradling the head of whoever that is

IKR?! *envies that singer* I daydream about mentally substituting myself in her place and being caressed that way...GUH. I've had dreams this past week of hanging out with my favorite actors [from an old cheesy, cliched show nobody knows, The Lost World, and from a new cheesy, cliched show Legend of the Seeker] so I'm hopeful my dreams will seize upon this inspiration soon...*taps foot impatiently*

You're the kind of person I like writing for.
D'aww. *bites lip* You just made my week. Honestly. And I've been having a crappy time lately, dealing with a whole load of family drama, so...*tacklehugs you* Lovefest!