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marguerite_kruxI am disheartened, though not surprised, by the lack of dangerous substances in the house. My choices are limited to Telfast, Panadol and Roaccutane, and since these are medicines that make with the curing, I'm not sure how effective they are for overdosing purposes. Although considering the monster-size headache I have from crying my eyes out for three hours straight, that Panadol's looking like a good idea.
Oh, mother has these pills for her blood pressure. I wonder what they could do.
Anyway, since I have no idea how to effectively carry out this sort of thing, I shall content myself with a shot of bitter and nasty.
Dear parents,
I find it amusing and pathetic and vastly infuriating that you believe overstepping boundaries and curtailing my freedom is the way to forcing academic success. Now, I have to admit, I played a major role in 'forcing' you to act like this, if I weren't so immature and apathetic and just knuckled down and studied and achieved well, you wouldn't have to be my wardens, but seriously. Seriously. Telling me I'm only allowed to read five books a week? WTF? Are we actually back to punishing me through limiting my reading?
And not allowing me to go anywhere other than uni or do anything other than study during the week? Granting me a few hours of freedom on the weekend, though naturally under restrictions? I'm not a party animal, my social life is pretty much non-existent. But you decide the best way to enhance my uni performance is to prevent me from visiting my grandmother, who is the only person I see on a regular basis, who is the only real source of support and emotional stability I have in my life. I regret not spending enough time with Pa, who died just over a year after he moved to Australia, and now you're going to keep me from hanging out with Ma? The worst thing is that if I decide I want to, god forbid, spend time with Netty or Katherine, I'm in the position of 'neglecting' her to see them, like it's all my fault when it's your stupid restrictions.
I barely see the two girls, I might go a few months without getting to hang out with them, and you know why? Some people have lives that aren't spent waiting around for a spare hour or two when you let me out of exile. They have jobs and relationships that don't conform to this schedule from hell you've stuck me in. So thanks for helping to degrade the only real life relationships I actually have managed to maintain.
Oh, and btw, I find it depressing that you apparently think the only reason someone would cultivate a relationship with me is because they are a psychopath with murderous intentions. I mean, OMG, it's just so hard to believe that someone might actually like me. But I don't even believe you really buy into that [although I kinda regret all those Criminal Minds marathons, mother, if they were just feeding your paranoid delusions], because if I had gotten Distinctions or HDs, it'd've been a different story, we could've come to an agreement, but oh no, I get Credits and suddenly I can't go see a person that actually wants to be around megod knows why. Although if you did believe the worst, considering what a burden I am, what a failure and neverending disappointment I am, heck, why wouldn't you let me go? It'd solve all your problems if I were dead, wouldn't it?
Yes, I'm indulging my inner drama queen quite a bit here. I know you love me and want what's best for me. But you don't understand that increasing these limitations and restrictions is never going to achieve what you want it to. If I succeed somehow, it'll be DESPITE this prison you're erecting around me, not because of it.
No love,
me.
/whinge.
After releasing all that resentment and frustration, I have to point out a reality check: in Afghanistan, some sadistic jerks throw acid at schoolgirls, blinding them for defying their religion and culture by seeking education. And here I am, needing emotional blackmail and crazy restrictions designed to force me to do well. How wack is that?
-------------
Apart from parents, another source of constant aggravation. Windows Movie Maker is being a real bitch. I know it gives everyone a hard time, but come on! My laptop is pictured in the dictionary under 'epic fail', for frak's sake.
I thought maybe I was equally culpable for its slackness, since running a laptop on about three GB of spare room is probably not the way to encourage optimal performance, right? I spent the morning clearing out craploads of stuff, ending with an astonishing 21 GB of free space and still, STILL it won't co-operate. It takes half an hour to open the file, operates for two minutes max if I'm lucky before it freezes, and refuses to save a vid of what I have so far, so I can't even be like, 'Look, Dakota, I did try! Here is proof of my efforts!' *wibbles*
Anyway, I'm not allowed to use it til the weekend, *eyeroll*, so maybe by then it'll have simmered down and show some mercy. But oh, if someone has a magic wand that they can wave to cure it of its tantrums and general pissiness, I would welcome a miracle.
--------------
Btw, who thinks Myki is the worst to happen to the public transport system since Connex? I'm not sure who thought it would be a brilliant idea to issue people with cards that you need to TOUCH to the screen- about a hundred times before it registers- rather than conveniently SWIPE, as one does at every other sort of terminal throughout this country.
An even bigger irritation is needing to 'scan off' before one departs the bus, else risk being charged extra or something. Did you ever think about how this would hold up bus services while people stand at the machine and look like fools as the machine ignores their card over and over?
And it's not making the bus driver's job any easier, in fact, it's more of a nuisance because then people want to transfer funds ONTO the myki card, and that process is also time-consuming and inefficient. And a lot of people don't even HAVE the Myki card, so the bus drivers end up issuing 'short term tickets', which serve exactly the same function as the previous ones, only instead of printing out a piece of paper in seconds, they need to punch a whole lot of buttons and 'validate' these damn cards, which makes admitting passengers onto the bus take forever. Accompanied by irritating jangly music. I'd go insane if I had to hear that all day.
--------------
No new TLW dreams, sadly, unless you count dreaming about![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
odakota_rose posting TLW icons. Weeeiiird. I don't know why THAT would be on my brain. O.o Nope, no clue...
But strangely enough, I did dream about making pancakes with Bree from Desperate Housewives. I don't cook, but there I was, all domestic-y and stuff. Damn good pancakes, I must say. They were smothered with whipped cream, which is one of my many vices. Mmmm. But yes, a little unsettling because it's so OOC for me. Though not as much as those rare, freaky dreams where wacky things happen that seem perfectly normal, like, you know, I'm pregnant- OMGWTF?!
You know those dreams where you're not you, you're somebody else? And then you wake up and wonder if this is how mental illness starts, losing grip on your identity in a dream? Like, what if one day, I wake up and I'm still the person I was while I was dreaming? *shudders*
Oh, mother has these pills for her blood pressure. I wonder what they could do.
Anyway, since I have no idea how to effectively carry out this sort of thing, I shall content myself with a shot of bitter and nasty.
Dear parents,
I find it amusing and pathetic and vastly infuriating that you believe overstepping boundaries and curtailing my freedom is the way to forcing academic success. Now, I have to admit, I played a major role in 'forcing' you to act like this, if I weren't so immature and apathetic and just knuckled down and studied and achieved well, you wouldn't have to be my wardens, but seriously. Seriously. Telling me I'm only allowed to read five books a week? WTF? Are we actually back to punishing me through limiting my reading?
And not allowing me to go anywhere other than uni or do anything other than study during the week? Granting me a few hours of freedom on the weekend, though naturally under restrictions? I'm not a party animal, my social life is pretty much non-existent. But you decide the best way to enhance my uni performance is to prevent me from visiting my grandmother, who is the only person I see on a regular basis, who is the only real source of support and emotional stability I have in my life. I regret not spending enough time with Pa, who died just over a year after he moved to Australia, and now you're going to keep me from hanging out with Ma? The worst thing is that if I decide I want to, god forbid, spend time with Netty or Katherine, I'm in the position of 'neglecting' her to see them, like it's all my fault when it's your stupid restrictions.
I barely see the two girls, I might go a few months without getting to hang out with them, and you know why? Some people have lives that aren't spent waiting around for a spare hour or two when you let me out of exile. They have jobs and relationships that don't conform to this schedule from hell you've stuck me in. So thanks for helping to degrade the only real life relationships I actually have managed to maintain.
Oh, and btw, I find it depressing that you apparently think the only reason someone would cultivate a relationship with me is because they are a psychopath with murderous intentions. I mean, OMG, it's just so hard to believe that someone might actually like me. But I don't even believe you really buy into that [although I kinda regret all those Criminal Minds marathons, mother, if they were just feeding your paranoid delusions], because if I had gotten Distinctions or HDs, it'd've been a different story, we could've come to an agreement, but oh no, I get Credits and suddenly I can't go see a person that actually wants to be around me
Yes, I'm indulging my inner drama queen quite a bit here. I know you love me and want what's best for me. But you don't understand that increasing these limitations and restrictions is never going to achieve what you want it to. If I succeed somehow, it'll be DESPITE this prison you're erecting around me, not because of it.
No love,
me.
/whinge.
After releasing all that resentment and frustration, I have to point out a reality check: in Afghanistan, some sadistic jerks throw acid at schoolgirls, blinding them for defying their religion and culture by seeking education. And here I am, needing emotional blackmail and crazy restrictions designed to force me to do well. How wack is that?
-------------
Apart from parents, another source of constant aggravation. Windows Movie Maker is being a real bitch. I know it gives everyone a hard time, but come on! My laptop is pictured in the dictionary under 'epic fail', for frak's sake.
I thought maybe I was equally culpable for its slackness, since running a laptop on about three GB of spare room is probably not the way to encourage optimal performance, right? I spent the morning clearing out craploads of stuff, ending with an astonishing 21 GB of free space and still, STILL it won't co-operate. It takes half an hour to open the file, operates for two minutes max if I'm lucky before it freezes, and refuses to save a vid of what I have so far, so I can't even be like, 'Look, Dakota, I did try! Here is proof of my efforts!' *wibbles*
Anyway, I'm not allowed to use it til the weekend, *eyeroll*, so maybe by then it'll have simmered down and show some mercy. But oh, if someone has a magic wand that they can wave to cure it of its tantrums and general pissiness, I would welcome a miracle.
--------------
Btw, who thinks Myki is the worst to happen to the public transport system since Connex? I'm not sure who thought it would be a brilliant idea to issue people with cards that you need to TOUCH to the screen- about a hundred times before it registers- rather than conveniently SWIPE, as one does at every other sort of terminal throughout this country.
An even bigger irritation is needing to 'scan off' before one departs the bus, else risk being charged extra or something. Did you ever think about how this would hold up bus services while people stand at the machine and look like fools as the machine ignores their card over and over?
And it's not making the bus driver's job any easier, in fact, it's more of a nuisance because then people want to transfer funds ONTO the myki card, and that process is also time-consuming and inefficient. And a lot of people don't even HAVE the Myki card, so the bus drivers end up issuing 'short term tickets', which serve exactly the same function as the previous ones, only instead of printing out a piece of paper in seconds, they need to punch a whole lot of buttons and 'validate' these damn cards, which makes admitting passengers onto the bus take forever. Accompanied by irritating jangly music. I'd go insane if I had to hear that all day.
--------------
No new TLW dreams, sadly, unless you count dreaming about
odakota_rose posting TLW icons. Weeeiiird. I don't know why THAT would be on my brain. O.o Nope, no clue...But strangely enough, I did dream about making pancakes with Bree from Desperate Housewives. I don't cook, but there I was, all domestic-y and stuff. Damn good pancakes, I must say. They were smothered with whipped cream, which is one of my many vices. Mmmm. But yes, a little unsettling because it's so OOC for me. Though not as much as those rare, freaky dreams where wacky things happen that seem perfectly normal, like, you know, I'm pregnant- OMGWTF?!
You know those dreams where you're not you, you're somebody else? And then you wake up and wonder if this is how mental illness starts, losing grip on your identity in a dream? Like, what if one day, I wake up and I'm still the person I was while I was dreaming? *shudders*
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
(no subject)
Date: 2009-03-11 06:34 pm (UTC)Really.... this is university we are talking about. In uni, to pass the exams, no matter with what grade, is absolutely great! It has always been that way!! You really should remind your parents about this....
Reading... ohhh, here I sympathise you even more... I love redaing, too... This is insanely stupid- redaing is educational. You should read in order to have wider view on life, to do better in your exams and so on. If they are going to punish you, let be by taking away your pocket money, TV or Internet. But books... most parent are praying for their kids to read.....
*shakes head*
(no subject)
Date: 2009-03-11 09:49 pm (UTC)Misery loves company? :P I don't want other people to suffer as well, but knowing you do understand is priceless.
My mom is lucky I'm just not interested in having a relationship right now, but I will enjoy her face when I get a boyfriend one day
Ha, I'm the same way. The parents are lucky I don't really want a relationship because I wouldn't let these stupid rules get in my way if I was interested in someone. Like, there's nobody I care about enough to take a stand, but if there were, there would be some 'fun' family conversations...
But books... most parent are praying for their kids to read.....
IKR?! The illiteracy levels are at record highs, kids in HIGH SCHOOL can barely read and spell and my parents are the ones bucking the trend, not allowing me to read...ugh... That said, the books I read are hardly educational, lol- romance, fantasy, sci-fi... :D
(no subject)
Date: 2009-03-12 06:26 pm (UTC)Hehe- define for whom the "fun" will be- for you or for the parents ^_^
It doesn't matter what genres you read. Shakespeare is not the only educational book ^_^ As long as you don't concentrate on the pictures in the books, your readings are always helpful... Really, maybe you should talk again with your parents about the reading. This is something important, very important... After all, if you don't have books to entertain yourself, you always may replace them with drugs and alchocol.... or at least to mention this variant in front of your parents.... Give them some scarier images than bad grades and let's see what happens.... ^_^